


Make Mine A Cappuccino

by TheBloodOfAngryMen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Jock Dean, M/M, Making it up As I Go Along, Nerd Castiel, Nerdiness, a few more characters mentioned, but there's so many er, i dont know how long this is going to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-10 15:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2029587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBloodOfAngryMen/pseuds/TheBloodOfAngryMen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester works in a record shop and wears leather constantly<br/>Castiel Novak works in a local coffee shop and frankly, he hates Dean Winchester.</p><p>Dean is in Cas's chemistry class and we won't mention Dean's perfectly shaped lips, cute freckles and lustrous green eyes. nope, defiantly not mentioning those, because Cas can n o t have a crush on the captain of the football team. no way.<br/>------------<br/>Cas couldn’t help but admire how beautiful his smile was and no nope do not think about him that way. You hate him, you hate him Cas reminds himself. The worst thing that could happen was Cas falling for this guy, I mean look at him! Girls on his arms, captain of the football team and according to Bela and Nora in a relationship or something with Lisa Braeden. There was no chance. Not that Cas had ever thought about Dean in that way at all. Not even once. Ok, not this week at least. But it was Monday.<br/>------------<br/>“One day Castiel you will understand my star wars references and on that day I shall weep”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ladies And Gentlemen, I Am Below Average

**Author's Note:**

> Well hello there!  
> This is the first chapter I guess...please let me know what you guys think, because I honestly don't know what I'm doing half the time.  
> I'm kinda making this up as I go along, but updates should be on Saturdays (hopefully)  
> Basically I wrote this at about 2am so if it sucks I apologise sincerely  
> 

Castiel tightens his grip on the sleeves of his black hoodie and heavily breaths in as he prepares himself for another day at high school.  Ah yes, school. The world’s response to your ‘I don’t want to die but still kinda wanna kill myself attitude’. Yep, if that’s how you feel, high school is defiantly the place for you. He walks alone through the street on his way to school, still misty from the early hours of morning. He really was _not_ a morning person. He didn’t have time to make coffee this morning so if anyone gets on his nerves he will _not_ be held responsible for his actions, especially that stupid Dean guy who sits near him in chemistry. Oh god. Dean, with his ‘I don’t give a crap’ way of thinking and leather jackets. Dean, with his stupid necklace pendant thing and surprisingly high test scores. He really hates him and he’s never even spoken to the guy. Of course, Dean has no idea who Cas is. If Cas was a mythical creature he’d say he was a ‘stay-at-home dragon’, like borderline hermit if he’s honest and that is in no way an understatement. He’s not the type of person to go strolling up to Dean Winchester like “wassup”. In fact he’s say his only proper friend was Charlie and that’s because she’s the only one who really understands him. Charlie helped Cas last year to come out to his family. They did it in stages; first his older brothers Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer. Gabriel was practically ecstatic, Michael acknowledged it and acted like nothing had happened and Lucifer mumbled under his breath but was over it in no time. Next was his younger siblings Anna, Samandriel and Balthazar. They all acted like they were surprised but Cas could hear the “I told you so’s” and “you owe me money bitches we had a bet’s” after he left. The only people left were his parents – they were the people Cas was most worried about telling. His siblings of course encouraged him to tell them after weeks of his coming out to them and Cas couldn’t stand the subtle hints they kept dropping over dinner. He just never really felt a connection with his parents; he had no way of telling how they would respond. His father was rather accepting – he reacted strangely similar to Lucifer. He and his father never talked much and it’s a good job really as he left a few months later to go and live in Europe with his mistress. His mother was so shocked, honestly Cas had no idea how she didn’t realise even in the slightest. She said she accepted that he loved who he was but she never really looked at him the same way again. Cas didn’t mind – he spent most of his time alone in his room studying any way. Occasionally his brothers would ask if he wanted to play baseball, Anna would curl up to him after a bad dream and Gabriel would annoy him with blind dates, but apart from them and Charlie he didn’t really have that many friends. Not that he cared anyway. He’d rather stay away from friends – and boyfriends – he can’t deal with the drama.  He was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost walked past the entrance to the school. How could he miss the prison-like black gates and sandy coloured window frames surrounding the building? Cas sighs before taking his first step into the clear glass doors of Lawrence High School. He stands on his tiptoes searching for Charlie’s red mop of hair. He catches it near her locker surrounded by the familiar faces of Becky and Chuck. They were Castiel’s other ‘friends’ if you can call them that. not that he doesn’t like them, he just never really felt like he could be friends with them. They were more Charlie’s friends than his but he enjoyed their company none the less. He weaved through the swarm of people to Charlie’s locker where (no surprise) Charlie and the others were standing. He plants himself next to Charlie and attempts to catch up with the conversation.

“I’m not saying Matt Smith doesn’t make a great Doctor I’m just saying he will never live up to masterpiece Tennant created” Charlie explained. Doctor who. Of course that’s what they’d be talking about. Cas never really had time to watch as many TV shows as Charlie. Sometimes…ok all the time he wonders how she copes with reality and fantasy and manages to stay on top of it all. “Magic” she would say with a smile when he asks about her capability. It sure as hell bewildered him that’s for sure.

“Yeah but Tennant played the Doctor all like ‘brooding’ and stuff, whilst Matt played it so much cooler. He played the Doctor differently…” Becky attempted to disagree. She should know better than to get in a nerd-off with Charlie. She’ll never win.

“Becky, they’re _different Doctors”_ she said slowly as if Becky was slightly stupid. “They’re supposed to be played differently. That’s the whole point of a regeneration – too add some spice into our lives” she said the last bit whilst doing a little dance that looked relatively like a salsa but Cas had no clue. He really was amazed by Charlie constantly.

“Cas, what do you think?” Charlie and the rest of them turned to him, attempting to include him in the conversation. Crap. _Quick Castiel think of something_ he thought to himself. Just as he opened his mouth to speak the bell went. Charlie shrugged it off as Becky and Chuck walked past them to their first lesson.

“What have you got, Cas?” She asked, closing her locker.

“Erm…chemistry with Jody, Jody Mills, you?” he replied after scrambling in his pockets to find his timetable.

“Same!” she replied with excitement, “well, I have chemistry anyway; I’m in the room next to you with Crowley.” She smiled as they began to walk down the emptying corridors. He really didn’t understand this whole calling your teacher by their first name business. It’s apparently supposed to improve relationships or something but it doesn’t make any sense to Cas. It just makes it awkward really.

x

He was pretty much on time when he got to his class; not that it would’ve mattered. He would never be later than Dean Winchester even if he tried as hard as was physically possible.

He waved goodbye to Charlie and stepped into the classroom. The teacher was at the front writing something on the chalkboard. It was probably important but Cas could wait until he was sat down. He flung himself into his usual seat in the middle of the class, at the side near the window. He liked to lean against it and gaze out of it whenever the curtains were open. Luckily for him, they were today but unfortunately for him the words on the board were GROUP EXPERIMENT. Great. Just what he needed today. He looked around the room for anyone who he remotely liked. Meg was at the back in the corner filling her nails, Jo was in front practically asleep, her head rested on her arms and her hair hanging over her face. Next to Meg was the empty space soon to be filled with Dean Winchester and next to that was Ash who was talking to a girl in front of him, Cas thinks her name’s Dor…Dorothy, yes, Dorothy Baum. There were two girls whispering and giggling frantically next to her; Nora and Bela and Cas didn’t think he recognised anyone else. Maybe he could work with some of them, who knows.

Right on que, the door slams open and in swaggers a toothy-grinned Winchester, leather jacket and plaid shirt included.

“Miss,” he acknowledges with a nod of the head and Cas is pretty sure he’s not the only one who sees the blush crawling up her neck.

He walks to his seat and takes a deep breath, that stupid grin still plastered on his face. Cas is certain that Dean won’t have a problem finding a group.

When the class are instructed to get into groups of four, Castiel staggers for a minute, waiting for Dean’s group to form before finding his own. The last thing he needs today is to be stuck in a group with Dean Winchester.

Dean’s group consists of Meg Masters, Jo Harvelle and someone he thinks he heard Dean call Lisa. Castiel settles in a group with Ash and the two giggling girls Nora and Bela. It’s not too bad – he could handle it and anyway Ash is really intelligent, he might even say he’d learn a thing or two from this lesson with him in his group.

Ash and Cas do most of the work for the experiment. Every now and then the girls would measure out some alkali or think that they were going to die when they spilt hydrochloric acid on their hand. It took Cas at least ten minutes to stop Bela crying and convince her that the concentration wasn’t high enough to kill her. The rest of the lesson the two gossiped about Cas’s favourite person Mr Winchester. Apparently Lisa and Dean are some sort of item and he wouldn’t be surprised if he heard a glimpse of jealousy in Nora’s tone when she explained it. He unwillingly learnt that Dean has a younger brother in Anna’s year, was his name Sal? No, Sam, that was it. Cas really shouldn’t pay attention to this idle chat but finds himself intrigued, so distracts himself with the experiment.

Once the results were charted and Castiel had sat back down his normal seat there was only a few minutes before the end of class. Miss Mills… _Jody_ was talking about a conclusion and surprise surprise asked Dean for his findings.

“Well Jody,” he began. Cas couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes at Dean’s cocky and confident attitude, “I believe that the volume of alkali increased when the concentration of hydrochloric acid increased.” He said after glancing down at his notes. He looks up for approval and when she nods her head with an impressed look on her face the worry is swiftly replaced with his signature goofy smile. Cas couldn’t help but admire how beautiful his smile was and no nope do _not_ think about him in that way. _You hate him, you hate him_ Cas reminds himself. The worst thing that could happen was Cas falling for this guy, I mean look at him! Girls on his arms, captain of the football team and according to Bela and Nora in a relationship or something with Lisa Braeden. There was no chance. Not that Cas had ever thought about Dean in that way at all. Not even once. Ok, not this week at least. But it was Monday.

The bell rings and Castiel quickly packs away his things. A figure comes and stands next to him and he hopes to God that it isn’t Dean. Luckily it’s only Ash. He asks Cas if he’d like to hang out sometime and gave him his number saying he could call any time before smiling and jogging out the door to join his normal group of friends. Cas had forgotten that Ash was friends with Dean, but he was a nice person. Cas might just take his offer and hang out with him sometime. Probably not sometime soon, he has a maths test to revise for and a family dinner to pretend to enjoy. As long as he sits next to Gabriel or Anna he should survive. Hopefully.

x

He barely has time to step out of the door before his arm is being linked by a smiling Charlie. She doesn’t even say anything to him as he’s escorted down the corridor to his next lesson – maths. At least he has Charlie, so it’s not too bad.

They enter the classroom on time and settle down in their usual seats. He didn’t notice anyone except Jo and Meg in this class, and he didn’t even realise they were in here until a few minutes ago.

He spends the whole lesson only half listening to the teacher’s draining voice and pretending to understand Charlie’s nerdy references.

“One day Castiel you will understand my star wars references and on that day I shall weep” she said, clutching her heart like she’s in pain. Castiel hums in acknowledgement but continues to doodle in his notepad and attempt some of the equations he’s been set. He checks his phone although he knows he won’t have any messages. He’s surprised when he sees that he has a message from what he thinks is Ash’s number – he hasn’t had time to put his number into his contacts yet. He had given Ash his number too but hadn’t expected him to be the first to text, and especially not this early. He doesn’t think he’s ever had someone so eager to text him since Charlie.

 **Ash:** _Hey Cas, it’s Ash. About that getting together sometime, there’s a party at mine on Saturday if you wanna come, bring whoever you want, it should be fun! Hope you can make it, it’d be great to see you there._

Cas is astonished. Him? A party? This really was an unusual situation. Charlie had obviously noticed Cas’s phone and was as suspicious as always.

“Who are you texting, eh? You haven’t got some secret boyfriend I don’t know about, do you?” She asked it like it was a genuine question which was quite worrying for Castiel.

“No of course not,” Charlie raised an eyebrow. She so did not believe him.

“It’s Ash. He wants to know if I want to go to a party on Saturday…” Cas doesn’t know what to say after that, but Charlie soon takes over.

“Oh Cas, this is great!” She says clapping her hands and jumping in her seat. Cas wasn’t surprised that no one noticed her outbreak of joy; everyone was talking and the teacher was sat in the corner typing something on his laptop and looking like he regrets every life choice he ever made.

“You are going right?” She asked, looking his dead in the eye with a serious face. Whatever excitement she had was now gone.

“I think that was more of a rhetorical question than one I can answer…but yes…I guess I might as well.” All he could think about was what Gabriel’s reaction will be. No doubt he will do something stupid and unnecessary like give him a condom and wish him good luck. Cas doesn’t need luck. He needs a Christmas freaking miracle.

“Oh, I’m so excited!” Charlie practically shouts, hitting Cas’s arm in a burst of delight. She rambles on about what she’s going to wear and if she’ll meet someone and what Cas is going to do and who’s going…honestly Cas wasn’t even paying attention to that. Why would Ash invite _him_ of all people? And god knows who’s going to be there. What if _Dean_ is there? Will he be able to control his urges when he’s drunk? Too many questions were building up inside of Cas’s mind, but they are all soon destroyed by the stinging of his ears due to the ringing bell. Cas sighs and explains to Charlie that he’s going to the library for break. Charlie can see that Cas obviously wants some time alone and lets him go off, not without a huge warm hug and a wet kiss on the cheek, complete with Cas wincing and pulling away as fast as he can.

x

Cas enjoyed the quiet of the library. There was something tranquil about it, like it was Cas’s own little paradise.

He sat down at a round table surrounded by bookshelves and laid his head on the table. He just needed to rest for a minute. He closes his eyes and takes in deep breaths. He sits like that for a few minutes before he jerks himself back to consciousness. _Remember where you are Castiel. You can’t fall asleep in a god damn library. Not at school._ He almost hits himself for being so stupid. To keep himself awake he strolls over to the book shelf and browses. One title catches his eye – the lord of the rings: fellowship of the ring. Charlie is always saying Cas should read it, although she admits the films are better. Well, whilst he’s here and has some time to spare he might as well start it.

He opens the book and skips all the boring pages until he begins the first chapter. It takes a while to get his head around the basic plot but he’s soon well into it and decides he just _has_ to check this book out. Maybe he’d come back later and find the other…what was it, two? Yeah, that’s right there were three in the series. He goes to the counter and checks out the book, giving the girl behind the counter a smile. She’s in the year below Castiel so it’s no surprise that he doesn’t know her name, he thinks it begins with L…or J…something like that. if he comes back often he might get to know her more, she seems nice.

Cas walks down the aisles of bookshelves to the door out of the library when he hears giggling and snorting as someone tries to control their laughter. At first he thought it was Bela and Nora, but this was obviously the laughter of a teenage boy. He looks through the gap in the books on a shelf to see none other than Dean Winchester and his best friend Benny laughing hysterically at something they’ve seen in a book. Cas can’t quite see the title and frankly he doesn’t want to know. He quickens his pace and dumps the book in his backpack, huffing and puffing. He needs to find Charlie badly. He is so sick of Dean and his stupid friends. Maybe he will go to that party, just to see what they’ll do; just to see what _Dean_ will do.

God, does he hate that guy.

 


	2. Where Did The Party Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from the song 'Where Did The Party Go?' by Fall Out Boy. I thought it was kinda fitting for this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that I would upload on Saturdays but I'm off school so I'm basically writing non-stop, so here's another chapter! I'll probably be uploading rather frequently this week until next week when I go on camp, so enjoy it while it last ^.^ 
> 
> Thank you all for all the feedback omg! I literally squeal every time I get a kudos or even a hit seriously. 
> 
> Near the end of this chapter I ran out of ideas, so thanks to my sister Beth who threw (not literally) ideas at me whilst i smacked my head against my laptop in an attempt to destroy my writers block.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Come on Cas, this is a serious decision!” Charlie shouts, slapping Cas on the leg, the lipstick still placed in her hand. She holds them up again side by side and looks deep into Castiel’s blue eyes.

“Now let’s try this again,” she sighs, “red-” she holds up the red lipstick higher, “or pink” she repeats with the pink one. “It really isn’t that difficult Cas.”

“If it isn’t difficult, why do you need me to confirm your choice?” Cas questions. He really doesn’t know why Charlie’s asking him; she would be better off asking a raccoon for fashion advise.

Charlie groans and throws her head in between her hands dropping the lipsticks, leaving them to roll towards Castiel. He picks them up and examines each one carefully. “What are you wearing?” Cas says quietly.

“What?” Charlie perks up, resting her head on her hands as she listens again.

“What’s your outfit? Surely it would make more sense to see what you’re wearing and then compare the colours accordingly…” Cas loses his trail of thought, placing the lipsticks carefully on the cream carpet in Charlie’s bedroom.

“Oh Cas you’re a genius!” Charlie leaps up unnaturally fast and hugs him tightly around the neck, “I could kiss you right now!” She squeezes so hard that Cas can just about get his next words out. “Please don’t. That would be embarrassing for both you and I.”

“Hmm,” Charlie releases her grip on Castiel, “you’re right.” And with a quick smile she’s off, skipping towards the closet to choose her outfit for tonight.

“So…who’s going tonight anyway?” Charlie asks, still in the closet. Cas can just about hear her over the scraping sound of metal on metal as she slides hangers down the rail, obviously unamused with the clothes before her.

“I don’t really know…Ash didn’t give any details other than it’s at his house and anyone’s invited,” he shrugged.

“And…” Charlie bobs her head around the corner, “do you actually _know_ where Ash lives?” she raises an eyebrow as she waits for her answer.

“Erm…no…I should…probably…ya’know, text him or something…” Cas fumbles over the room to his coat pocket, grabs his mobile and begins frantically typing. Charlie rolls her eyes heavily before she returns to the important task of outfit finding.

 **Cas:** _Hey, it’s Cas. I’m not really sure where you live? Would it be ok for you to give me your address?_

God that sounded so boring, but that’s all he had time to type before Charlie was skipping back into the room with a heap of clothes cradled in her arms. He presses send and flings his mobile onto Charlie’s bed.

“Right, here we go!” Charlie says excitingly before dumping the pile just in front of Cas.

Charlie shows Cas her outfit which includes a pair of shiny black lyra leggings, an Aztec print top with colours such as pink, yellow, orange and purple included and a denim jacket; perfect. Once Cas gives her the thumbs up, the two lipsticks are placed in his hands. Charlie is looking at him as he decides.

“Use the force Cas” she whispers. Even without knowing that reference Cas giggles before handing out the lipstick in his right hand – “Pink.” He passes it to her with a dazzling smile. She takes hold of the lipstick and walks over to the closet to pick out some accessories.

Charlie and Cas don’t mind changing in front of each other, what would be interesting? They’re both gay what’s the point in hiding away from their best friend. Although it can be awkward, especially if someone like Gabriel walks in to see a half-naked Charlie in Cas’s room before rushing out shouting “so what, are you straight now?” It brings a smile to Castiel’s face just thinking about it.

Charlie changes into her outfit and does a little twirl as if to say “ta-da”. It looks even better now that Charlie’s jazzed it up a little; she’s wearing a light pink pair of heels with little bows tying them up at the front, a black velvet bowler hat on top of her curled red hair, a black choker, a bag that appears to be in the shape of a daisy, painted black nails and of course – pink lipstick. She’s added some lip gloss on top for as she said “some extra pow” _whatever that means_ Cas thinks. She really does look amazing compared to Cas in his dark blue skinny jeans, old black Led Zeppelin t-shirt and sandy converse.

“Don’t be stupid, you look great Cas,” Charlie says. It sometimes feels like she can read Cas’s mind.

Cas is welcomed by the  _ping_ sound of a text message from Ash. He reads it but keeps staring at it to avoid the eye contact he'll have with Charlie if he doesn't. 

She kneels on the floor, cradles his hands in hers, hiding the phone and stares lovingly into his eyes. “Cas, you are beautiful without all the extravagant clothes, make up and heels, although I would love to see you in a pair of kitten heels seriously I can see you rocking that look,” that at least gets a smile out of him. “You are perfect Castiel Novak…don’t let anyone tell you different.” She plants a small kiss on his forehead and stands up, wobbling due to the heels she’s wearing. “Now are we gonna go party or what?” Her voice is quite loud and the scream that followed what almost painful, “Woo, partaaaaaay.” Cas once again was astonished by his best friend.

X

Charlie drove them there, but Cas for reasons ‘unknown’ thought that he’d be the designated driver for the ride back. Charlie was singing the lord of the rings soundtrack for the whole ride there. She was excited. Every now and then Cas would join in, but his thoughts took over him and he ended up losing where he was in the song. When she moved onto the Harry Potter soundtrack Cas knew it was getting serious. Charlie does that when she’s excited. It goes in stages; a little bit excited – Les Miserables, mildly excited – star wars, moderately excited – doctor who, excited – Lord Of The rings, very excited – Harry Potter and finally so-excited-I-recommend-hiding-your-children – High School Musical, and you did not want to see that. Cas hoped they got to the party before they reached the High School Musical phrase. It was not a pretty sight.

Sure enough, they turn a corner and there is Ash’s house. How does he know it’s Ash’s house? He took a guess with the loud rock music, swarm of cars and drunk teenagers on the roof. He barely has time to get out of the car before Charlie is dragging him across the road into the cramped house, mumbling _‘Nimbus-3000’_ under her breath.

Charlie shouts something to him over the music before pointing at the kitchen and taking her leave. Great. So not only is he in a new and strange environment, he’s _alone_ in a new and strange environment. He didn’t expect to enjoy himself all too much but now it feels like that little glimpse of hope was gone. He can’t blame Charlie though; she never goes out like this, which is probably why she’s so excited. As long as Charlie’s happy, Cas is happy; it’s as simple as that.

Cas waits a few minutes before spotting Charlie in the kitchen dancing with…is that Jo Harvelle? She beckons him with her hand, but Cas shakes his head; he can see she’s busy. He seeks a more private place in the house and searches around until he settles down at the bottom of the garden. There’s a swing tied loosely around a tree branch and a small wall, just the right height for sitting on. He sits on the swing and gets out his phone, playing some meaningless game to pass the time. He’s interrupted by the soft whispers of what sounds like a couple advancing straight towards him. Castiel tenses and locks his phone, trying to make as little noise as he can. He doesn’t want to be nosey; he just doesn’t want to be noticed. He was stupid to think that no one else would claim this peaceful spot away from the main party.

“Lisa, I’m not saying I don’t want to-” Cas recognised that voice, the low and smooth riffs in the boy’s vocal chords were hard to forget. Dean Winchester; just what he needed. He really needs to stop going to places where it’s possible to bump into him. He can’t even deal with looking at him, let alone talking to him.

“Then what, Dean?” Hold up, this was beginning to sound like an argument. He assumed the female talking was Lisa, it was impossible to see through the darkness of the night.

“I just…” He could hear Dean taping his fingers against the tree next to him in anxiety. “I don’t think we’d be good together, that’s all.”

“Bullshit Dean, there’s more to this and I know it. You’re the captain of the football team and I’m the head cheerleader, isn’t that how things are meant to go?”

Cas can’t help but roll his eyes; typical teenage drama.

Lisa obviously goes to touch Dean in some way, according to his reaction. “Get off me Lisa, I told you. I’m not right for you, ok? There are others out there better than me, you deserve better than me.” Cas can hear Dean’s voice cracking as it got nearer to the end of that sentence. It was the kind of cracking that made Cas want to go over and comfort him; until he remembers who it was he would be hugging. Cas is still trying to get his head round this. So, Lisa wants Dean to do something, probably go out with her by the sounds of it, and Dean’s saying no. ok pretty simple, but we don’t know why…it was like watching a bad soap opera.

“Just get over it Lisa for god’s sake.” Dean was obviously getting annoyed and so was Lisa by the sound of her hand against Dean’s right cheek. Ouch, painful.

“Son of a bitch,” he heard Dean whisper as the sound of Lisa’s clicking heels faded into the music.

Castiel thought it was over until he hears the dialling of a mobile. He thinks it best just to stay for a little longer; anyway it’s not like Dean knows he’s there.

A short pause is followed by half a phone call conversation; Cas has to attempt to fill in the blanks -which should never be attempted, even as sober as he was.

“Sammy, is that you?” Sammy, wasn’t that his brother or something?

“Yeah, I told her…no I didn’t tell her _that_ …no Sammy I won’t…don’t get all smart-ass on me because I will come back right now and kick your ass…no...Sammy…oh come on what was I supposed to say? _Sorry I can’t date you because I’m strictly into dick_ come on that’s tragic…anyway I still like girls…I swear to god Sammy…yeah ok I get it…shut up…Bitch.” Dean lets out a deep sigh and curses to himself and, oh no. he’s walking right towards the swing and, oh no. Cas is still sat on the swing. _Move you idiot_ Cas thinks but it’s too late. Dean sits on the swing, unaware of the tensing teenager beneath him.

“Woah dude, sorry! Didn’t see you there,” Dean laughs, quickly standing from the swing and running his hand through his hair. Even in the dark Castiel can see some actions. Thank god Dean can’t see his face.

“It’s…” he clears his throat, “It’s quite alright. I…think I’ll be leaving now.” Cas turns to leave but gets pulled back by Dean Winchester grabbing his arm. He looks at Dean, confused.

“You just witnessed a guy’s breakup and you’re just gonna walk away?” Dean says, only half-joking.

“I’m sorry…it’s…none of my business,” Castiel breaks free from the grip and speed walks towards the patio doors, not even bothering to look back at Dean. How _dare_ he grab him like that? who does he think he is? And how wrong is it for Castiel to imagine what that tight grip would feel like against his waist and no. stop right there.

Castiel is so enraged by the thoughts of Dean Winchester that he nearly knocks poor Jo down when he passes her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry are you ok?” Castiel asks with genuine worry. The shock on Jo’s face is gone and instead a friendly smile is plastered there.

“Yeah, I’m…great! Enjoying the party?” She asks enthusiastically.

“Yeah I’m having a great time,” _lie_ “I’m really glad I came” _lie_ “can’t wait to, you know, party and what not.” _Three in a row, ding ding ding, we have a winner!_

Jo can see right through his lies and she puts her hand on his shoulder, “you really hate it here don’t you?” she asks with a knowing look.

Castiel releases his breath in a hurried sigh and nods. “It’s not like I don’t want to, I just…I don’t know.”

Castiel can almost feel the pity and sadness in his eyes and quickly changes the subject, “so, you met Charlie then?”

Jo drops her hand from his shoulder and instead tucks a strand of hair behind her left ear, the blush slowly forming on her cheeks.

“Are you, erm…are you friends with her?” she asks, trying not to sound too interested and failing miserably.

Castiel laughs for the first time tonight, “she’s my best friend, I know everything about her,” Cas explains.

Jo raises an eyebrow. _God these two are just meant for each other_ Cas thinks. “Everything?” she says puzzlingly.

“Jo if you want me to ask her out for you just say,” Cas says through a deep and hearty laugh. Jo joins him laughing and unexpectedly pulls him in closer for a hug. Cas tenses at the sudden touching but soon relaxes and hugs her back. He can tell that Charlie and Jo like each other; call him Cupid Castiel; they’ll be together in no time.

Just after the two separate from the hug, a very drunk and _very_ unstable Charlie hobbles in, shouting and screaming above the vibrations of the music that shake the house down to its foundations.

Charlie limps over to Castiel and leans her whole body onto his shoulder, letting all of her weight fall down on to Cas. She looks into his eyes and gently strokes his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb.

“You know Cas, I’ve said it before I’ll say it again – if I was straight and you were straight I would take you upstairs and do everything and anything-”

“Alright, let’s stop that there shall we.” Castiel cuts her off, grabbing her hand and waltzing her around so that her hand now rests on Jo’s cheek. Jos expression says it all; shock, confusion and of course lust. Charlie simply shrugs it off before leaning forward, pressing her mouth against Jo’s with little to no fuss. _Well that was fairly simple_ Cas thinks as he turns away, not wanting to spend another moment staring at Jo and Charlie practically undressing each other. 

X

Cas strolls through the kitchen, taking in his environment; Lisa is in the corner near the sink talking (very angrily) to Nora and Bela; he’s sure that he’ll get the latest gossip next chemistry lesson whether he likes it or not. Thank god Dean Winchester isn’t around; the last thing he needs is another conversation with him tonight – one experience was enough. He walked over to the sink, making his presence known to Lisa and co so that they wouldn’t think that he was eaves-dropping and filled a glass full of icy water for Charlie. She was so off her face that it had gone past the point of hilarious and was swooping towards darn right frightening. He turns on his heels and is soon hit with the breezy sensation of cold water being spilt down his chest.

“Watch where you’re going you oiled-breathed arsehole” Lisa screeches at him. Cas didn’t know what she was screaming about; _she_ had walked into _him_ and by the look of it she seemed to have gotten out of it pretty unharmed - unless water created some sort of psychological terror in women he doesn’t understand.

Lisa lifts her hand above her head and swiftly drops it down near Cas’s face. He cringes his eyes closed, preparing himself for the impact, but instead is welcomed with silence. He slowly opens his eyes and in front of him was an unbelievable sight; Dean Winchester of all people had his hand gripped around Lisa’s forearm, his palm white with tension as he clings on.

Lisa winces and struggles out of Dean’s grip uselessly.

“Don’t…even…dare” Dean speaks quietly through his gritted teeth. He’s staring right into Lisa’s dilated pupils and he slowly releases his grip, allowing her hand to flop down to her side. Bela and Nora ran over to her, their whispering breaking the silence around the room but Dean’s eyes were still fixed on Lisa, even if it was just the back of her head.

Cas weaves in and out of the forming crowd, excusing himself every now and again and obviously avoiding eye contact. His t-shirt stuck to his torso, seeping into every crevice of Cas’s muscular runner form. He had to get out of here.

He grabbed Charlie on the way out the door who it turn grabbed Jo, creating a sour conga out of the door.

With a final goodnight kiss (if that’s what you can call it) Charlie and jo separated, leaving Cas and Charlie lonely and silent all the way back to Cas’s house. He didn’t want to talk or even _think_ about tonight. He just wanted to go home and not think about anything, even if it is just for a while. He especially did not under any circumstances want to think about Dean freaking Winchester, that’s for sure.


	3. One Back Story And A Heart To Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deans POV.  
> We find more out about Dean's former life and his feelings for Castiel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are again! Another chapter...wow, I thought that I would've given up by now, but no.  
> Like I said, I'll be uploading quite frequently and as you can tell I'm a pretty fast at typing, so all the better for you lovely people. 
> 
> Kudos and Comments are highly appreciated, thank you!  
> Enjoy :)

What the hell happened there? Dean can’t remember the last time he actually used violence like that, let alone on a friend like Lisa. But he couldn’t just stand there and watch that poor guy take a hit for no reason.

Lisa has been really getting under his skin lately. The casual fucking was fine but it’s when she wanted more that Dean lost it. He couldn’t explain that he just wasn’t emotionally attached to her, because like she said, that’s not how it goes; the captain of the football team and the head cheerleader were _meant_ to be together, everyone knows that. what if Dean wanted something more? Something different? Something in the form of a dorky blue eyed boy. Not that Dean had a crush; he doesn’t _do_ crushes. He can appreciate when someone’s attractive right? Anyway that boy…whatever his name is never showed any interest in Dean, no matter how hard he tried. Dean always kept his cool around attractive people, but at the party something happened…something new. He couldn’t control himself when he lurched forward to grab Lisa’s arm. That voice he spoke with wasn’t his own; it was protective, even possessive. Anyway, Lisa had no right. The guy was scared out of his wits, wouldn’t even protect himself – someone had to.

Dean tried to run after Mr Blue Eyes, but he’d left before Dean could even ask for his name. He was the only real reason Dean came tonight. He’d asked Ash to invite him – wasn’t even sure if he’d turn up – so he could get to know him. All chances of that happening were out the window. Well, whilst he’s here he might as well do some digging around and try and find out _something_ useful about this guy.

First, avoid Lisa and friends. _Good plan Dean_. Second, find friends of Mr Blue Eyes. Third, find out information. Pretty easy, right? Well, he can hope.

From across the room he spots Jo. She’s been his friend for years, hell Dean would even go as far as to say that they’re _best_ friends, so it won’t seem weird if he asks her about him; not that she’ll know anything, she never has before.

“You mean Castiel?” she asks, amused that Dean doesn’t even know the name of his crush. “Yeah; pretty blue eyes, constantly confused expression,” she does her best impression of Cas that even makes Dean giggle slightly before she continues. “Hmm, awful fashion sense for a gay guy but then again,” she scans Dean from head to toe, “look at you.” She looks up and shows him a sarcastic smile. Dean gets his revenge by beginning a tickle war he knows she can’t return. That’s the thing about being close to someone, they know your weaknesses. Although the joke’s on Dean as Jo knows that if you run your hand down the curve in Dean’s spine it’s a complete turn on for him. She can and she _will_ use that information against him whenever she gets the chance, such as now for instance. Dean can see her hand beginning to trace the line. He stops suddenly, attempting to claw Jo off his back that she’s clinging too.

“You wouldn’t,” He says unsure, Jo had always been spontaneous.

“Oh…but I would,” she says before tingling the curve of Dean’s spine. He eventually lets go of her and instead grabs the throbbing semi surfacing inside his jeans. Dean hobbles off to the bathroom, trying not to bring attention to this mess, which is very difficult; especially when all Dean can think about is how Castiel licks his lips unconsciously whenever the two made eye contact and imagining what he could with those lips. Ok, this is not helping at all.

Dean reaches the bathroom and flings himself onto the lowered toilet seat. _Fuck._ How was he going to get rid of this? Well of course he knew how to he was just hoping that he would come up with a better technique by now.  He sighs heavily. There was only one way. Not like he wouldn’t enjoy it though, so all’s well that ends well.

Dean checks that the lock on the door really is...well, locked. That would be an awkward conversation and a half if someone walked in. He unzips the fly on his skinny jeans and his growing erection springs free, still growing and throbbing with every thought of Castiel.

He grabs himself and begins to stroke up and down, tingling the head and imagining his hands were Castiel’s. it was hard to imagine; normally he’d just get someone else to do this, like Lisa. No, not thinking about Lisa. He begins a soft rhythm up and down, his eyes closed with images of Castiel. His thoughts are shattered by the sudden warmth in his gut. He speeds up, gritting his teeth and breathing heavily through his nose. His eyes are scrunched up and his free hand is clawing the mirror on the wall in front of him. He has to physically stop himself from screaming at the orgasm, sighing Castiel’s name as it rolls of the tip of his tongue. He does his fly back up, washes the sticky mess off his hands and checks himself out in the mirror; not that he has anyone to impress.

He reaches for the door handle when flashbacks of his and Jo’s conversation arise. Jo had said Castiel was _gay._ But who knows, there’s so much alcohol in both of their systems, Dean could’ve heard her wrong or Jo could’ve said it as an instinct, without knowing if Castiel is or not. He shrugs it off and returns to the party. He doesn’t feel like being here anymore.

He finds Jo and Ash dancing (terribly) together with Benny and Meg who are making out near the sofa. Benny reaches under Meg’s skirt and honestly Dean didn’t want to know what was happening under there.

“Woah guys, keep it PG yeah?” Ash jokes but that does nothing to stop them.

Dean breaks his eyes away from the scene and instead turns to Jo and Ash. “Hey, I think I’m gonna…head off.” He says, pointing to the front door.

“Oh no, stay a little longer Dean,” Jo says, pulling him over to them by his arm.

“No, I...erm, have to go check on Sammy. I’ll see you at school on Monday though.” Dean says. That was such a lame excuse and he knows it.

There’s an almost silence around them before Jo mumbles, “don’t forget the chemistry homework,” before beginning to dance again with Ash.

Dean takes that as his que to leave and steps out of the door. He can still hear the muffled music half way down the street where Baby is parked. As he walks down to her, he hopes that she’s ok. He’s left her out here all night on her own and god knows who’s walked past her. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that she’s undamaged and climbs into the driver’s seat, the car creaking slightly when he relaxes into the seat.

He starts the short drive home, blasting ACDC through his speakers and taping his hands against the steering wheel all the while. He sings along loudly to avoid any thoughts of the party or Castiel.

It really is an unusual name – almost angelic. It probably is an angel name though; they all seem to end in –iel.

He arrives home and parks Baby on the road, even though the drive is clear. Bobby would be pissed if he has to park his truck on the road again.

“Sammy, you up?” He shouts as he closes the front door, dropping his house keys on the coffee table and sitting on the couch before turning on the latest episode of Doctor Sexy MD.

“I am now, Jerk.” Sam says as he climbs down the stairs. He runs both hands through his long hair to smoothen it out.

“Shut up, Bitch” Dean says, not taking his eyes off the TV.

“Erm, Dean?” Sam says. He sounds worried and if that doesn’t get Dean’s attention, nothing will.

“What is it Sammy?” He says, breaking eye contact with the TV.

Sam looks around before lowering his head and staring at his lap. “Dad called earlier.”

“He did…what?” Dean says, obviously annoyed and slightly raising his voice. “You didn’t actually _talk_ to him did you?”

Sam looks up at him, his eyes wide and mouth gaped open. “No, no. well…I told him we didn’t want to talk to him and to leave us alone. Bobby took over from then on. He went out, I don’t know where. Probably to find dad or whatever.” Sam shrugged.

John Winchester had never been a good dad. Well, he had been until the death of their mother Mary. Mary Winchester had died in a fire years ago. It sent John crazy, twisting his mind into one of an abusive bastard of a dad. But Dean didn’t like to think of him all too much. Him and Sam had been living with Bobby for two years now and not once had John tried to call. Why now? frankly, he didn’t even care. Bobby was like an uncle to them…would that make Ellen their aunt? Bobby and Ellen had been married way before Sam and Dean were in the picture. Jo’s dad had been a friend of John’s, but was killed in a hunting accident. Bobby and Ellen met when Bobby was on the search for John after the fire and have been in love ever since. Of course, it means that Bobby spends most of the time at the roadhouse where Ellen and Jo live; the roadhouse wasn’t big enough for all of them and Ellen refused to move. It works though, and it means Sam and Dean practically have the place to themselves all the time. They still see Bobby at least once a day though, so they can talk about school or get help on homework. Dean kind of likes the independence. He can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Not that he would do anything stupid; Bobby would know just from the look on his face.

“It doesn’t matter Dean, just…let it go,” Sam says before slouching to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.

Sammy’s right. It doesn’t matter. Bobby’s probably handled it anyway.

x

Sam sits beside him on the couch, cradling his glass in his lap and pretending to understand the plot of Doctor Sexy MD.

“So, how was the Lisa thing?” Damn. Dean knew that he’d ask soon enough.

He sighs and turns to look at Sam, “I have no clue Sammy. I didn’t tell her but somehow I don’t think I needed to. She’ll never talk to me again after tonight anyway.” Dean can’t hide the pain in those last words. He did like Lisa; as a friend. She was always there for him. He can’t help that she had feelings for him he couldn’t return. He really did try to return them, but it just didn’t feel right. It was better to tell her no than to lead her on, right?

“You need to tell someone,” Sam started. Here we go again. “Someday, you’re gonna meet a really cute boy and you won’t be able to do anything because none of your friends know you’re freaking gay god damn it.” Sam rants.

Dean drops his head, “Jo knows,” Dean mumbles, just loud enough for Sam to hear.

“Jo doesn’t count,” he says softly. His tone has lowered into one of comfort, “you need to tell them Dean. I mean come on, Bobby knows that you’re gay but Benny doesn’t? a little odd don’t you think?”

Dean just shrugs. He knows that he can’t argue with Sam. _That’s why he’ll make such a great lawyer_ Dean thinks to himself.

Sam almost stutters as he decides whether to say his next statement or not, “just because dad didn’t like it doesn’t mean you should hide who you are.” Silence falls between the brothers as Dean stares blankly at the TV, pretending to watch.

Sam looks away from Dean and turns his attention back to the book he’s picked up from the coffee table.

“Dean, I-” Sam starts.

“No, you’re right.” Dean says quietly. “Just because dad was a jerk about it doesn’t mean everyone else will be. I get it. You’re right, bitch.”

“Shut up Jerk,” Sam says with a smile and with that the two brothers are back to themselves, smiling as Dean hits Sam in the face with a pillow, proclaiming that he is in fact a super-nerd. They continue until Dean waves Sam off him, leaning forwards in his seat as Doctor Sexy makes a shocking discovery in the East Ward.

x

 

Sam has his head on Dean’s shoulder, snoring slightly and in a deep sleep. The TV is still on, but low in volume as some dumb sitcom plays.  

He thinks back to the party. How Lisa’s words had hurt more than her hand to his face. How Castiel had dismissed him in a fit of rage. Why did the guy hate him so much? Dean’s never even talked to him for god’s sake. What did Castiel have against him? Dean had made it his mission to find out. He’s sure that Castiel’s in his chemistry, so he’ll just have to wait until Monday and – ah, crap. Homework. Dean doesn’t even know what it is. He’ll just text Jo tomorrow – or not do it at all. Luckily Dean had managed to pull off his charm on this teacher, so she probably wouldn’t mind if Dean missed a homework or two. He can’t help but wonder how Jo suddenly knew so much about Castiel. He’d seen her talking to a pretty redhead earlier on, did she know Castiel? He better find out, because Castiel hates him and he is determined to know why, no matter what. He needs to know – right now.

“Hey, sleeping beauty” Dean whispers. No response.

He checks his phone; a few messages from people at the party and a text from Bobby saying that he’s staying at the roadhouse tonight. He checks the time – 12:34. He doubts Jo will be home yet and anyway he’s too tired to care. He says goodnight to an unconscious Sam, laying a blanket on top on him and hops up the stairs to sleep, images of Castiel in the back of his mind. 


	4. Run And Tell That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I thought it was finally time I included the coffee shop, so the title will finally make sense now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took quite a while to write this but I was completely out of ideas. I was staring at a blank page for like two days.  
> Thank you to everyone who commented, gave kudos or sent messages, I love you all so much! Especially whoever sent me the message on tumblr because that made my day, honestly. ^.^  
> This is already longer than I thought it would be, but don't worry there's a lot more where this came from.  
> Enjoy! :)

Castiel wakes up with probably the worst headache he’s had…well, ever. He doesn’t even remember drinking that much, but then again he can’t really remember half of what happened at the party. He does have vivid memories of Dean Winchester though – he’d rather not think about him any more than he has too.

He stretches his arms and yawns slightly before getting out of bed and putting on a pair of jeans and a light blue flannel. Cas opens his bedroom door and begins to step down the stairs, each one creaking beneath his feet. The sound of clattering plates and muffled laughs is coming from the kitchen as he steps in.

“Cassie, you’re awake!” Balthazar says with a smirk on his face. He hates that nickname, but it’s one that Balthazar had picked up from when his father used to call him it. Cas hums a yes and tiredly roams around the room attempting to help set up. Ah, the family dinner – what an enjoyable event. It only happened every few months or so, when his older brothers Michael and Lucifer could both take time out of their busy work schedules – Gabriel of course still lived at home, but Michael and Lucifer had flown the nest as soon as they could.

x

Luckily Cas didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of sitting next to Michael like last year, as he sat in between Gabriel and Anna, laughing at the occasional joke and spilling god knows how many glasses of Coke throughout the main course. When it came to the awkward wait before dessert, Lucifer began to involve Cas more in the conversation – which he really didn’t like.

“So Cas, are you thinking of going to college?” He asked. The whole table turned and looked at him, waiting expectantly for an answer. Lucifer always asked him this question so Cas doesn’t know why his answer would change. Lucifer was obviously at college himself, studying physics and Michael has a job at some major company.

“I don’t know…maybe,” Cas mumbles, looking down at the empty space on the table in front of him.

“Maybe?” Lucifer raises an eyebrow, “come on Castiel, it’s been _maybe_ for at least six months now. when are you going to figure out what you’re going to do with your life?” There was no answer from Cas.

Castiel spent the rest of the day with Lucifer’s words whirling around his head on repeat. He was right. When was Cas going to get his shit together and _do_ something with his life? He can’t spend the rest of his life cooped up reading or doing shifts at the coffee shop, can he? Speaking of the coffee shop, he should probably get ready to go to work. He can’t afford to be late, especially after he skipped half of his shift on Saturday to go to that god awful party – what a terrible decision that was.

He excuses himself from the table, where Michael is telling the same joke he tells every time and Gabriel is stuffing cake into his mouth whilst surrounded by more cake and heads upstairs.

He pulls out his work uniform; a simple black button-up shirt, a black pair of skinny jeans, black vans and a black apron that starts at the waist; because apparently you can never have too much black. Not that Cas minds, it’s an easy uniform and Charlie says it brings out the blue in his eyes.

x

Castiel arrives at the coffee shop three minutes early. He might as well make a start whilst he’s here, right? He steps into the quiet shop, the smell of coffee beans and fresh milk swirling through the air.

The shift was pretty normal; the crowds of college guys and occasional businessman putting the free Wi-Fi to good use. Cas was about 10 minutes away from finishing his shift when the door opens quickly and slams against the wall to the side of it.

“Whoops, my bad,” the young man laughs. _You have got to be kidding me_ Cas thought.

Dean Winchester, Meg Masters and Benny Lafitte step into the coffee shop and join the back of the queue. Cas starts panicking; he can’t deal with conversation with one person out of their friendship group, never mind ¾ of it.

Cas turns around to his co-worker Tessa and whispers whilst he makes a hot chocolate, “Tessa, do you think we could swap shifts now, I really have something to get to.”

Tessa turns around and raises an eyebrow, laughing slightly through her nose, “no way Cas, not after you skipped Saturday. The boss’ll be super pissed. You’ve got a job to do and so do I.” She says sternly.

Cas breaths out heavily and mentally prepares himself for the conversation ahead. He’ll just talk like he didn’t know them – like they were just random strangers he’d seen before on the street, yeah that would work.

Just before the three were next in line Dean says, “hey you guys go get a table, I’ll order the drinks…no it’s cool…yeah, that one over there.” Cas could only hear Dean’s part of the conversation – the other two’s voices were hushed and muffled.

Well, it can’t be all that bad. He only has to talk to Dean now but then again there’s only _Dean_ to talk to.

The man at the front of the queue leaves, coffee cup in hand and Dean steps up, looking down as he fumbles in his wallet for money.

“Hey, I’ll have a de-caf, a hot chocolate and I think I’ll have an expresso…” Dean almost rambles before looking up, a smile forming on his face. “Well, hey.”

Oh god, what does Castiel say? “Hi…” _wow, imaginative Cas._ “Erm…is that everything?”

Dean raises an eyebrow. Cas wishes people would stop doing that to him. “Keeping it strictly business are we, ok I can roll with that. yeah, I’ll have one of those mini apple pies please and that’s it.” He says, pointing to the pie behind the glass cabinet.

“That’s $8 please,” Cas says quietly, looking down at the opening till. Dean holds out a $10 note and gives it to Cas. He could’ve sworn that he felt Dean stroke his thumb against Cas’s hand when he passed it over. Cas shakes it off and hands over the change quickly. He turns around and begins to prepare the drinks, avoiding the heat on his back from Dean’s wandering eyes. He turns around with the hot chocolate and de-caf and slides them over the counter to Dean.

Dean thanks him and takes the two over to the table where Meg and Benny are sat. he turns and before he knew it, Cas’s name was being called from over the room.

“Hey Cas, make mine a cappuccino?” He calls out with a huge grin on his face. _The smile won’t make me hate you any less_ Cas lies to himself. He starts afresh with Dean’s cappuccino and turns around to see that Dean’s sat at the table, laughing away at some joke. He sighs and takes the cappuccino over on a tray.

“Here,” Cas says, placing the mug down gently on the table. Meg and Benny quickly grew quiet, but Dean looked up, that stupid smile still on his face.

“Thanks Cas. Hey, do you wanna join us? When…you’re shift ends…obviously,” Dean says, stroking a hand through his hair. Cas would even go as far as to say he was nervous. _No?_ Cas thought but before her knew it the words were coming out of his mouth, “yeah of course, my shift ends in like five minutes, so I’ll see you then?” Cas didn’t know why he asked it like a question; _Dean_ had been the one to ask _him_ , not the other way round.

Cas turns on his heels and goes back behind the counter for what little time he had left in his shift.

To be honest, he had expected the three of them to have left before he’d finished, and he wasn’t wrong as he saw Meg and Benny stand up quickly and leave, the bell on top of the door ringing vigorously. He thought he’d be relieved, but he felt almost…disappointed. Why? He hates these people.

He looks over to the table and sees Dean still sat there; staring at him with his mouth gaped open. When he sees that he’s been caught looking he simply smiles, then looks down at his mobile, obviously texting someone. When Castiel doesn’t move, Dean looks back up and waves to him, signing him to come over. Cas grabs a lemon ice tea from the refrigerator, pours it into a glass and begins to walk over to the table. When he sees that Dean’s mug is empty he places the ice tea on a tray and prepares a cappuccino for Dean. Not that he likes him or anything; he’d just feel awkward drinking whilst Dean isn’t.

He places the tray on the table and hands Dean the mug as he sits down.

“Is this for me?” Dean says in complete shock. Cas nods and Dean’s smile grows bigger, which Cas didn’t think was possible.

“Thanks Cas,” Dean says before beginning to drink.

“How…” Dean looks up, still drinking,” how do you know my name?” Cas asks.

Dean stopped drinking and put the mug down slowly.

“Erm,” he began, “I was talking to Jo – Jo Harvelle. She started talking about you, nothing much,” he shrugs. Cas supposes that that’s a good enough explanation; he had been talking to Jo at the party.

“I’m…” Cas starts, “sorry about Lisa,” his voice was almost a whisper.

Dean smirks a little, but sadness lay in his eyes. “It’s cool; I was the one who wanted friendship.  I guess she wanted something I couldn’t give to her.”

Cas doesn’t know what to say. Dean quickly changes the subject, “so, I’ve seen you at school, you’re in my chemistry right?”

Castiel nods and with that Dean replies, “how come you never talked to me?”

Cas couldn’t help but scoff. _Him_ talk to _Dean_? He’d got so caught up in his soft story that he’d forgotten how much he hates this guy.

“I hardly think I was in the position to talk to someone with such a high status such as yourself,” Cas says sarcastically. Dean seems taken aback by Cas’s comment as he tries to figure out what he said that has annoyed Cas so much.

“Cas, I didn’t mean it like that…” Dean says, the smile slowly fading, “I just-” 

“Whatever Dean. I’ve gotta go, see you at school.” Not that he intended to talk to Dean ever again. It was a mistake to accept his invitation in the first place. Cas marches out the door, not even bothering to turn back and look at Dean. He walks to his car and sits in the driver’s seat, his head resting in between his hands which are gripping the steering wheel tightly.

The tears were beginning to swell up in his eyes and he had to sob to keep them back. _Nice one Castiel_ , he shames himself. He’d just ruined probably the only chance of making friends with Dean and…why is he so bothered about it? He _hates_ Dean Winchester, why would he care enough about him to cry when he messed up. Cas’s emotions are all over the place, and a nice long drive away from everything is just what he needs. He starts the engine and begins driving down the main road, not going where he’s going and honestly not caring; just as long as it’s away from here – away from Dean.

x

Cas has been sat here for god knows how long now, just staring at the crimson sky as the sun fades into the horizon. He was parked at the top of some hill, looking over the whole of town. He was sat on the ground. The hill wasn’t very steep – if he was here with Charlie they probably would’ve rolled down it until Cas felt sick in his gut from excitement. Speaking of Charlie, he should probably call her – she’s most likely at home worried sick.

He dials the number and waits. It rings three times before she picks up.

“Cas, where the hell have you been? Jo called and said something about you running out on Dean?” it was strangely comforting to hear Charlie’s voice. he tries to smile but the tears that rolled down his face had made his skin tight and dry.

“Charlie, hey. I just…needed a little time on my own, I’m fine and I didn’t _run out_ on anyone. He was at the coffee shop and I made the mistake of joining him, so I left. It’s as simple as that honestly.” Cas said. He hopes Charlie won’t see through his lies.

“Whatever Cas just…come home? I’ve got a Harry Potter marathon with your name on it.”

Castiel can’t help but laugh - Charlie always knew how to say the right things. He steps back into the car and begins the slow drive back to Charlie’s house. When he’s outside, he texts Gabriel saying that he’ll be staying at Charlie’s tonight and knocks on the door before being greeted by a smiling Charlie wearing a pair of round dorky glasses Cas assumes has something to do with the film.

He steps into the house and isn't sure if the warmth is from the burning fire or Charlie’s love for him.


	5. There's Antimony, Arsenic, Aluminium, Selenium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hella tension in this chapter. That is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eekkk. I won't be able to update until next saturday/sunday because i'm away. i'm so sorry. Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it :)

Cas only had one feeling running through his mind; dread. He was dreading school, he was dreading chemistry and most of all he was dreading running into Dean freaking Winchester again.

He steps into the chemistry classroom and takes his seat, resting his head on the table in an attempt to get a few more minutes of sleep before the lesson starts. He closes his eyes and ignored the whispering he could hear behind him. He wasn’t expecting a hand to reach out and tap him lightly on the shoulder; he couldn’t ignore that.

“Cas,” the boy behind him whispers. Castiel turns around groaning; and was shocked when he was met with a pair of forest green eyes.

“Dean…what are you…why aren’t you sat in your normal seat?” Cas has so many questions and so little answers.

Dean leans back in his seat, the front chair legs unstably lifting off the round and shrugs. “I don’t know…” he looks out of the window, “maybe I wanted to sit near the window,” he smiles, proud of himself for finding a legitimate excuse.

Cas has to stop himself from rolling his eyes, but couldn’t control the confused expression he so often held. “Dean, your table was _literally_ near the window. You could’ve just sat in the seat near Meg rather than move all the way to the other end of the classroom. Seriously, think about how rational your decision is before you act upon it next time.” And with that Cas turns back around, ignoring Dean’s gaped open mouth and the stares digging into his back from the students slowly filling the classroom.

Castiel didn’t even pay attention to the lesson, so he really wasn’t surprised when he didn’t know what the hell the teacher was passing out at the end. The piece of paper was dropped on his desk and Cas picked it up to scan it without a moment to lose.

INFORMATION FOR CHEMISTRY WEEKEND TRIP

 _Oh._ Cas had totally forgotten about the school trip this weekend. And even worse –

STUDENTS WILL BE PLACED IN SAME SEX PAIRS FOR ROOMS.

Even worse. Not only did he have to be with someone – but he couldn’t even be with Charlie. This really is going to suck big time.

“So class,” the teacher began. All the students simultaneously look up from the paper in front of them. “You’ll be put into pairs when you get there. The rooms mostly have two singular beds in, but some are larger, such as a four person room or a six person.” Cas hopes to whatever God was out there that he was in a larger room. Sure, there would be more people and he’d have to change awkwardly in the corner of the room, but that saves him from the intimacy of just being one person who he probably wouldn’t like. He could probably be cool sharing with someone like Ash, but apart from him there was no one – and we’re not mentioning Dean. Cas would rather sit in a lake of crocodiles covered in meat paste than share a room with a certain Winchester – or any Winchester if they’re all like Dean.

Cas spent the rest of week gradually filling his head with more and more irrational thoughts about the weekend. The anxiety built up slowly but surely, but he kept them hidden; staying cool and calm – especially around Charlie. The last thing he wants is Charlie worrying. Charlie is so excited for the weekend; it would be a shame to ruin that for her. She says that you can ask the teacher for your room preference and she’s asked to be with Jo. Cas can’t decide whether that’s a good or a bad thing. Their relationship has really blossomed over the course of the week and Charlie seems genuinely happy – not that she wasn’t happy before, but now she’s like _uber_ -happy. Cas didn’t really want to think about what the two of them will get up to in that room; but hey, whatever makes his best friend happy is cool with him.

x

Castiel rolls his red suitcase up the hill leading to the house that he’ll apparently be staying in for the weekend. He’s in the middle of a sort of swarm of students, all heaving their suitcases; the sound of moaning growing louder every minute. It was a small stone-walled house at the top of a hill, surrounded by a forest of lush leaves and brown bark. Castiel was tired, hot, sweaty and lonely – he kept looking ahead of him for Charlie, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Suddenly he was jolted forward by something being violently pushed against the heels of his feet.

“what the-“ he turns around and sees Charlie and Jo ramming their suitcases into the back of his feet.

“I believe it’s called road rage,” Jo starts before laughing.

“Yeah, get out the way loser,” Charlie can’t control the tears forming in her eyes due to the unbearable laughter, probably from Castiel’s reaction.

“I hate you so much sometimes,” Cas says through a laugh before slowing down slightly to be at a similar pace with the two.

“Don’t lie to yourself Castiel Novak, you love me more than Gabriel loves chocolate cake. I would even go as far as to say more that Will loves Hannibal” Charlie says, smirking.

“I don’t understand that reference” Castiel can’t hide his confusion. He guessed this from the double eye roll he received from Charlie and Jo.

They reach the top of the hill and join the other students waiting outside the entrance to the house. One older woman was standing on a small wall and she stood up high above the crowd.

When everyone has gathered she began to speak; “Hello everybody. My name’s Robin and I’ll be your guide for this weekend. First of all I’d like to hope that you all have a good time and most importantly; learn some chemistry!” She talks with way too much enthusiasm. “So, now it’s time for you to see what room you’re in. I’ll first say the names and then what room number you are in. ok!” She clapped her hands together before being passed a list, obviously with room numbers on.

“First of all, Meg Masters and Dorothy Baum in room 7, that’s just up the stairs and the second door on your right.” She guided, smiling as the two wheeled their suitcases to their room.

“Charlie Bradbury and Jo Harvelle in room 4” Castiel’s ears were swiftly pierced with a squeal from both Charlee and Jo before Charlie hugs Cas and goes into the house.

More names were called out; Ash and Chuck in room 10, Nora and Bela in room 2 and Lisa and Becky in room 9.

The crowd of students was gradually dissolving and there’s only a few boys left and yes – that did include Dean Winchester.

Castiel hoped that he wasn’t with him – he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to control both his hatred for the boy and the lustful feeling he felt in his gut whenever their eyes crossed.

Finally, his name was called out, “Castiel Novak and…” she took a small pause. Castiel’s heart was beating out of his chest, his mouth dry as he licked his lips. She shook her head and continued, “sorry…just admiring your name. Angelic is it not?” she looked up at Cas who nodded softly. “Well anyway – Castiel Novak and Zachariah, did I say that right? In room 5 – sticking angels together, smooth move.”

Cas breathed out so heavily he nearly fell to the ground. His shoulders loosened and his eyes closed as he thanked the sky. Cas grabbed his suitcase and started to head towards the door.

“Wait-“ the woman said unexpectedly. “Sorry…I erm…read the wrong line. Castiel you’re in room 12 with…Dean Winchester.”

Castiel turns to Dean who is just staring at him with a hearty smile on his face. Dean drags his suitcase over to Cas and put his hand on his shoulder. “Looks like it’s just you and me buddy,” he says before going through the door. “Yeah, don’t remind me” Cas mutters to himself. Buddy? What on earth made Dean think Cas would want anything to do with him, never mind be his ‘ _buddy’_.

He trekked up the wooden stairs, lifting his heavy case up every stair with a grunt. He can’t see Dean anywhere and he wonders how he managed to get his case up the stairs so quickly. Cas doesn’t even know where his room is, so he’ll probably spend ages roaming around the halls alone with his thoughts.

“Cas,” he hears above him. Dean is leaning over the banister staring down at him – that smile still on his face.

“Dean, what are you doing? Why aren’t you in the room?” Castiel asks, unable to hide his annoyance.

“I’ve come to rescue my damsel in distress.” He says laughing.

Cas looks down at the ground and mumbles, “I’m not in distress thank you very much.”

Dean raises his eyebrow. “Cas I’ve been standing here for like five minutes and never in my life have I seen such a weak attempt at lifting a suitcase up stairs.” Cas couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Dean runs down the stairs and lifts the suitcase above his head before running back up them. He turns around to Cas and gives him a small smile before beckoning him over.

Cas runs up the stairs and drags his suitcase along the corridor, following Dean’s lead. They walk past several rooms; most of the doors open:

ROOM 2: Nora and Bela are doing each other’s make up sat on the floor. They don’t even notice Cas walk past as they’re too mesmerised by the scene of Dean Winchester strolling casually in front of him.

ROOM 4: Charlie and Jo are throwing pillows at each other and rolling around on the floor laughing. They wave to Cas as he walks past, but are soon back to play fighting over god knows what.

ROOM 9: Lisa is sat on the top bunk texting – her legs dangling over the side. Becky is at the other end of the room at the desk, typing away at her laptop. She’s probably writing fanfiction; it’s all she ever talks about. Cas tries not to look into that room for very much longer.

ROOM 10: Ash and Chuck are listening to some kind of rock music and appear to be talking about writing – Chuck writes book (and Becky writes the fanfiction) and Cas knows that Ash enjoys English but never got the chance to ask if he writes too.

Finally they reach a set of _very_ small stairs. “Our room’s at the top of these.” He points upwards. “It’s the only one up there, so no one can hear us.” He winks and Cas has to look down in order to hide his forming blush. Dean lifts Cas’s case up the stairs and Cas follows.

They enter a smallish room with two dusty windows and a swinging light bulb in the middle of the room. There are two single beds at each wall and a wardrobe. There’s a large space in the middle of the two beds, covered by a brown coloured carpet Cas assumed was once cream.

Cas must have stared at the room for minutes before he was interrupted by Dean. “Come on Cas; I know I’m not exactly America’s sweetheart but you could still look at least a little bit excited to be sharing a room with me.” He joked.

“Hmm,” Castiel said before starting to unpack his things.

Dean lurched himself onto one of the beds and stared down quizzically at Castiel.

“What is your beef with me dude?” Dean asked.

Castiel sighed and looked up from the floor. “I don’t have any ‘beef’ with you Dean. I just don’t know you all too well and honestly I don’t think I want to.”

“No beef my ass,” Dean muttered. “Why don’t you like me Cas?” Dean’s tone was softer and more fragile; like a delicate child’s.

“I would love to say that I do Dean…but frankly you’re a pain in the ass. Sometime I really hate you, ok?” Cas’s voice raised gradually with the last sentence.

There was silence for a minute.

“It’s a shame Cas.” Dean said quietly. “Because." Dean runs his right hand through his hair, looking down at the floor nervously. "Because I really kinda like you.”


	6. It Was A Cold Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I feel bad for leaving the last chapter like I did, so here's some cute stuff, yay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeeeey! Here we are, saturday just like I promised :)
> 
> Sorry again for taking so long to write this chapter but I'm afraid it will probably be the same again next week. whoops. 
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments, kudos and messages. I cannot explain my love for you all! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Castiel stares at Dean in complete confusion. “Erm, what?” He says with a puzzled tone.

Dean’s eyes dart across the room, trying to look anywhere except at Cas. Finally he speaks, loud and stuttered; “like, as a friend Cas shit, chill out.” He breaths out and begins to relax. “I just think…well… it would be pretty cool if we were friends, right?” he shrugs his shoulders and looks down at Castiel who is sat bolt upright, still in shock.

What was Cas supposed to make of that? Could he really be friends with Dean Winchester of all people? And why did he feel almost a little bit disappointed when he heard Dean say ‘friends’?

Cas tries to remain cool and sticks to his hateful tone. “What makes you think I would even _think_ about being friends with you?”

Dean groans loudly and throws his head in his hands. “Why you gotta be like that Cas? All I want is friendship, I’m not asking you to sacrifice seven virgins and kidnap an otter.” Dean just stares at him, mouth open and eyebrows raised. He’s pulling an almost bitch face as he stares down at Castiel as if to say ‘I caught you out on your bullshit’.

Cas relaxes and says through a sigh “you’re right Dean…I’m…I’m sorry, you were only trying to be nice and I kinda threw it back in your face. I just…hope we _can_ be friends.” Cas was staring at his hands for the whole time he said it and only now does he look up to see Dean’s forest eyes staring into his with wonder and bewilderment.

There was another moment of silence.

“It’s cool dude,” Dean says happily as he jumps off the bed and slides on his knees to where Cas is sat on the floor.

“Do you need any help with your stuff?” Dean asks, looking deep into Cas’s eyes – Castiel would even go as far as to say that he looked _through_ them.

Cas looks down at his suitcase to hide his forming blush and whispers, “no, I’m fine thanks.” He looks back up and sees Dean even closer to his face, centimetres away from his heated body. Dean leans forwards and continues to stare into Cas’s eyes as his pupils dilate, removing any traces of blue.

Dean is so close Cas can feel the warmth of his breath and he closes his eyes, unknowing of what’s about to happen.

Dean leans just a little bit further and brings his left hand up, punching Cas lightly on the arm in an almost bro-fist. “Come on dude hurry up, we gotta go down and…” Dean had stood up and was walking towards the door. He turns around and looks in Cas’s direction. “You know…do the-“ he waves his hand around like he doesn’t know what the word is. “Chemistry thing.” Dean gives Cas a small smile and suddenly Castiel is only left with echoing footsteps as Dean trudges down the creaky stairs.

Well, that was _not_ what he expected.

x

Castiel lay in bed staring at the ceiling through the darkness. The sound of Dean’s steady breathing told him that he was asleep and although it told him he was in another’s presence, he’d never felt more alone.

He began to sing a lullaby to himself, the soft hums running through the silence like solid gold. He closed his eyes and prepared himself for a sleep that never came. After a few minutes he began the song again – he didn’t remember the words so he hummed to the tune. It was a song his mother used to sing to him every night when he was a child; before his father left. After that she never sang again and oh how Cas misses her beautiful smooth voice.

Cas was interrupted by Dean. “you can’t sleep either then?” Dean said softly.

Castiel is slightly shaken but looks over to Dean. He can see glimpses of his eyes through the blackness of the night and he sees that much like him Dean is clung to his duvet, hiding from the cold as best as he can.

Cas shakes his head before realising that Dean probably can’t see his movement. “Not really,” Cas says.

Dean hums in agreement before the two fall into an all familiar silence.

“What were you humming?” Dean asks. Cas doesn’t know how to respond. He doesn’t feel like relapsing his childhood memories to a Winchester and he is too tired to think of a legitimate excuse.

“I don’t know.” Cas says quietly. Dean can tell that Castiel doesn’t want to push the matter further and quickly changes the subject, “Oh well…what…” he took a deep sigh before continuing, “what did I do to make you hate me so much?” Cas could feel the sadness in his speech. What did he do? Cas couldn’t even remember the reason why he hates Dean so much; he had just always felt that way.

“I honestly don’t know.” Cas says stupidly. It was such an awful answer, so he continued – he might as well tell the truth a little. “I guess you’re the jock and I’m…well I’m the nerdy guy no one talks to I suppose. I thought that you wouldn’t like me so why should I make an effort to be nice to you. God, it sounds so stupid saying it out loud.” - At least that part was true.

Dean almost scoffs, “Jock? I wouldn’t go that far – captain of the football team sure, but that’s not what I’m all about Cas.”

Castiel is silent for a moment and a half. “Then what are you about Dean Winchester?”

“What?” Dean asks in both confusion and astonishment like no one had ever asked him before.

“Tell me Dean…about yourself. What’s your gig?” Castiel asks. He stares at the dark shape he thinks is Dean as he asks.

“Well…” Dean clears his throat. “I guess…damn, I’ve not talked about myself in years…erm, I like cars I suppose…like, fixing them up and stuff. I’m thinking that maybe I could be a mechanic when I leave school. Ya’know, it’s easy to get a job and it’s doing stuff I love.” Dean explains fully in probably more detail than he needed to.

Cas hums in agreement, mirroring what Dean did earlier unconsciously. “What’s your favourite car?” He asks.

“1967 Chevy Impala – black obviously.” He answers straight away. Cas can feel the grin on Dean’s face as he just thinks about the car. “It’s the car I have…I guess you’ll know that if you’ve seen it at school. She’s a beauty and-“ Dean cuts himself off. “Sorry, get a little carried away.” He laughs.

“No…no it’s cool. I mean, I asked you what you liked, right?” Cas joins him in laughing.

They lie like that for minutes, embracing the silence and darkness like old friends.

Cas is startled by the sudden scrunching of fabric as Dean climbs out of bed. He hardly has time to register the movement before he is greeted with a dipping in the bed as Dean sits at the bottom of the mattress. He’s so close now that Cas can finally see his facial expressions and knows that Dean can see him also.

“What about you blue eyes?” Dean asks quietly, staring right at Castiel.

Castiel can’t help but laugh. “What the hell kinda nickname is that?” He almost can’t control his laughter but has no idea what time it is and so makes an attempt at quieting himself. Dean slaps him softly and fails to stop his laughter from bubbling out.

“Seriously Cas, what do you…like? And…stuff.” Dean shrugs, unable to form a proper question.

Castiel relaxes into his mattress and looks up at the ceiling once again.

“I just really like…everything.” He looks back at Dean only to see a confused expression.

“Everything?” He says with a raised eyebrow. Cas rolls his eyes and continues, “Yes, everything. You know…just how the world is formed and how so many things can happen…how there are so many possibilities and coincidences and…you know…the world just works-“he was cut off by Dean.

“I swear to God if you say in mysterious ways I will not fail to kick your ass.” He’s trying to be serious but Cas can see right through the charade.

Cas only gives Dean a small laugh. He places his arm to his side and it lands on top of Dean’s hands which are curled together in a ball. Cas quickly pulls his hand away. “Oh god, sorry,” he says, rushing.

Dean holds both his hands out in front of him in surrender. “Dude, chill. You put your hands on me, so what it’s dark and neither of us can see a god damn thing.” Cas relaxes a little and slowly puts his hands back down to his side.

“Anyway,” Dean begins. “I know I’m pretty irresistible. It doesn’t surprise me that you can’t keep your hands off me.”

Cas reaches out and slaps him on the thigh. “You are _so_ cocky!” He jokes. Dean and Cas break the silence of night with hearty laughs that fill the air like wine does to a goblet.

“Nah, I’m just kidding,” Dean confirms. “I mean, unless you want to admit your undying love to me right now,” he says sarcastically, rocking Cas a little as he nudges him, shoulder to shoulder.  The two laugh until silence falls.

“God it’s cold,” Dean says as he rubs his hands together and blows hard on them.

Cas was about to do something he would regret greatly. “You can…you can come under with me if you want?” Dean’s eyes widen; as does his mouth.

“You want me to…” Dean doesn’t know how to finish.

Cas mentally scolds himself. What a _stupid_ thing to ask. _You actual idiot Castiel_ , he thinks to himself. “I mean,” he starts; “only if you want to…” he shrugs.

Dean half smiles and nods. “Yeah, sure.”

Cas unravels the duvet to allow Dean in. He climbs under and snuggles himself against the pillow beneath him. He hums in affection at his comfortable location and turns his head to face Cas.

The two are laying shoulder to shoulder, staring at the ceiling once again in silence except for the slow breathing from both boys.

Cas attempts to make interesting conversation but fails, so settles on asking about school. “How was the chemistry test for you?” he asks quietly, looking at Dean who had his eyes closed.

Dean scoffs, “dude, inception made more sense.” He then laughs at his own little joke – Castiel stays silent.

“I’ve never seen it.” Cas whispers.          

“Dude, what?” Dean opens his eyes and looks at Cas in both horror and disgust.

Castiel laughs at Dean’s expression. “I’ve never got round to it, I know! Charlie is constantly making references to all these things and I have no idea what they mean. Like lord of the…something that she’s always going on about.”

Dean is now sat upright, leaning on one arm that’s outstretched on the bed and looking down at Cas.

“Wait, you’ve never seen lord of the rings. Like _the_ lord of the rings? I can’t believe it – I _won’t_ believe it.” Dean says horrified. Castiel’s laugh only gets stronger and louder.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He pleads through the laughs. “I’m reading them though. So, I _might_ just understand something soon.”

Dean rolls his eyes and flings himself back into the mattress.

“You need a lesson on pop culture, no joke.” Dean says.

“Whatever,” Cas laughs, closing his eyes and falling back into silence. He feels the creaks as Dean stand up from his bed.

“You’re tired, right? You go to sleep, I’m gonna get back to my bed, ok?” Dean says, pointing his thumb back to his bed in the other corner of the room.

Cas hums quietly to say ‘yes’ and quickly free falls into the oblivion of sleep. As he clings onto his last moments of consciousness he swears that he feels the warm wetness of soft lips pressed against his forehead.


	7. You Can Lay With Me So It Doesn't Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Errrr, I'm sorry this took so long, but I have no idea what to write about.  
> This chapter's a little bit shorter than the others, but I'll make sure that the next one is extra long, yay!  
> I honestly have no idea if this makes sense or not, so please tell me because I d o n ' t k n o w w h a t I ' m d o i n g . 
> 
> Thank you again for all the comments, kudos and messages!
> 
> PS the first part is Dean's POV then it changes to Cas's :) 
> 
> Also: I should be at home more often now, so updates should be more regular, happy days! So you can expect another update (hopefully) very soon.

Dean leans over Cas’s sleeping body and sighs heavily. God, he’s beautiful. Dean’s never seen such a handsome boy in his life. Unable to control his longing to touch and wandering hands, Dean rolls his fingers down the front of Cas’s body, his hand stopping to delicately trace circles on Castiel’s rising chest. Dean slowly places his forehead on Cas’s, his hand gripping the grey top separating him from Cas’s naked body. He closes his eyes and presses his lips against Cas’s, feeling the strong glare as Cas wakes to the hot mess that is Dean Winchester cradled on top of him.

Cas pulls his lips away from Dean in a sudden state of shock.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas says; his voice is hushed, but sounds like he can’t control his confusion.

Dean runs his fingers through his hair. “I’m…sorry” he says, dropping his hands to the sides of his body and taking several paces back off the bed and away from Cas.

Cas gives Dean a half-hearted smile. “Don’t…” Cas starts. “Don’t be sorry Dean Winchester.” His smile grows as he crawls out of bed, removing his t-shirt roughly and throwing it to the ground before walking briskly over to Dean and wrapping his arms tightly around his neck as he forces their lips together, embracing Dean’s tongue in his own.

“I always knew you were a queer,” Dean hears behind him. He separates himself from Cas and turns to see his father John standing in the doorway.

“That’s all you ever were,” John continues, “a little queer boy who can’t do anything right. You can’t even look after your brother, can you? Where is he now? Alone at home whilst you waltz around with some blue eyed bastard. Is that what you want Dean – you’re brother all alone with no one?”

Dean is on the floor, his head cradled between his legs that are pressed up against his chest. He pulls and tugs on his hair as he cries, hoping the sound of his hollow sobs will mask the truth in his father’s words.

John walks closer to Dean, his footsteps echoing throughout the creaking floorboards beneath his leather boots. He kneels down and whispers into dean’s ear, “You’re nothing Dean. Nothing.”

“No!” Dean shouts but he is unable to stop the voices agreeing in his head.

“No?” John mocks. “Face it Dean – you’re nothing to me, to Bobby – hell, you’re nothing to your brother – your own flesh and blood. What does that make you, huh?” John leaves the question roaming around in dean’s mind, whirling around like a hurricane as his screams grow ever louder. He feels the blood dripping down his face as John begins to punch him in the face, his bellowing fist forcing pink bruises to evolve – but the words he said caused more pain than any beating could hold.

 

* * *

 

 

Castiel wakes to the sound of muffled screaming, which in anyone’s book is not a good sign. He jolts himself upright and looks around in the darkness. It must be, what – 5am? The sun is rising in the distance, but still darkness dominates the corners of the cold room. He looks around, following the sound of the silent screams.

“Cas…please, help” he hears, the voice hushed and hoarse. He senses it from Dean’s bed and he trudges over, his eyes drowsy and tired.

Dean is rolling around in his bed, clutching a pillow in his arms, his face buried deep in the soft fabric.

“Cas…dad, no” Dean’s rambling continues. Suddenly Dean whips the pillow from his grip and throws it to the ground screaming, “Dad!” it takes Cas by surprise and for a minute he’s frozen in terror, his hands shaking violently as he reaches down to touch Dean.

Cas kneels down next to Dean and begins to hush him, running his hand through his hair, his palm growing hot as the sweat trickles down Dean’s forehead.

“Shh, it’s just a dream Dean – nothing more than a dream.” He attempts to calm him - He’s never done this before so god knows how well he’s doing. Cas is now sat next to Dean on the bed, his legs crossed as he stares down at the boy. Dean’s hands wander to Cas’s thigh and squeeze delicately – his brow furrowed as tears form beneath his closed eyelids. Cas makes a few more efforts to calm Dean and slowly the boy relaxes, loosening his grip on Castiel. The boy rolls over, facing away from Cas and lies in an almost foetal position, his hands tucked under the pillow his head rests on. Cas sighs and begins to stand up before being interrupted by Dean – “Cas…stay…please,” Dean almost whispers from unconsciousness. He stays in the same position, but his arm is now untucked and is perpendicular to his sleeping body. Too tired to refuse, Castiel climbs into Dean’s bed, the heat from the mattress contrasting to the icy temperatures outside of the quilt.

Castiel lies on his back, staring at the beam of golden light slowly moving along the surface of the cream wall above him. The only sound he hears is the slow breathing of Dean next to him, his arm laying across Cas’s chest. Castiel takes advantage of the quietness and closes his eyes, attempting to get a couple more hours of good sleep. He begins to drift off when the mattress jolts loudly as Dean rolls over to face Cas. He furrows his eyebrows, but keeps his eyes closes, knowing how vital sleep is. Dean wraps his arms around Cas’s body, his head snuggling into Castiel’s shoulder as he breaths deeply next to Cas’s ear. Castiel’s eyes bolt open and he slowly moves his head to view Dean. His whole body is clinging to Cas’s, his leg intertwining between his and his hand gripping the bottom hem of Castiel’s t-shirt. Cas’s breathing and heart beat increase as one, the sudden change in situation making it impossible to sleep anymore, despite the fatigue he felt just a few minutes ago.

After a few minutes of just staring at Dean’s sleeping body, Castiel fails to stay like this any longer – it’s not even worth attempting to remove himself from Dean’s tight grip, so he might as well go to sleep and hope that when he wakes up, Dean will have removed _himself_.

He forces his eyes shut, creating a black curtain that overpowers the light creeping through the curtained window. Within minutes Castiel is asleep, cuddling Dean Winchester and snuggling their faces together as their simultaneous breathing breaks through the harsh silence of the sunrise.

x

Castiel can’t put into words how glad he is when he wakes – Dean is facing away from him, once again cradling a pillow in his arms and pressing his body against the wall beside him. He can only hope that Dean didn’t wake to see their bodies pressed together in such a manner and got embarrassed. Luckily for him, the next few minutes confirm what happened.

Dean mumbles to himself as he stretches his arms in the air, rolling onto his back before opening his eyes. He notices the other boy in his bed and looks around in confusion as Cas stares blankly back at him.

“What…are you doing in my bed?” Dean says through a small laugh.

Castiel runs a hand through his hair and looks around, gulping. “I..erm…” He tries to make this sound as non-weird as possible. “You were having a bad dream…or… something. And you asked me to stay with you, no big deal.” Cas smiles and rolls out of the bed to be greeted with the chill of the early morning. Dean’s mouth is gaped open and he lurches himself up, leaning upright against the wall behind him. “Yeah,” he mumbles to himself, “no big deal.”

Dean and Cas spend the next half an hour in complete silence as they go about their daily morning routine, the whispers of fellow students below crawling through the floorboards.

“I’m gonna go down to breakfast, you coming?” Dean says. Castiel turns around to see Dean fully dressed in a pair of light blue skinny jeans, a black AC/DC t-shirt and a pair of matt black Doc Martins. Cas couldn’t help but think what a good look it was for Dean.

Trying not to draw attention to the fact that he is practically checking Dean out, Cas looks up at Dean’s face, the mop of light hair ruffled but still straight and combed.

“Yeah…I’ll be down in a minute, you go on without me,” Cas says and gives Dean a small smile before turning around and opening one of the draws next to his bed. He hears Dean say goodbye and after a loud creak from the opening door, he is left with only silence and his own thoughts.

x

Castiel stumbles down the stairs and into the crowded dining room of the house. All the students are separated at tables, surrounded by their usual crew of friends. He sees Charlie at a table with Becky and Chuck and starts to head over to them before Dean walks up to him, that signature smile painted across his face.

“Hey Cas, do you wanna sit with us?” Dean says, turning and pointing to a table with Meg, Benny, Ash and Lisa seated at.

Cas can see Charlie out of the corner of his eye staring at them and whispering something into Becky’s ear.

“Erm, no…I mean -” Damn. How does he say this without sounding like a dick. “I just…said I would sit with Charlie, sorry. Maybe we can sit together some other time?” Cas says, smiling and shrugging.

Dean shrugs his shoulders and laughs slightly. “Ok dude. If you want to though, just know that you’re welcome.” Dean says before punching Cas lightly on the arm and walking past him back to his table.

Cas trudges over to Charlie’s table and sits down opposite her, next to Becky.

“Morning sunshine,” Charlie says happily with a smile.

“You are way too enthusiastic for this time in the morning,” Cas groans and throws his head down on the table, covering it with his crossed arms.

Charlie prods him slightly. “Come on Cas, it’s only like half seven and there’s a coffee machine over there so you can get your fill on caffeine, happy days!” She says, way too loud for Cas’s liking.

After a very tiring and frankly bland breakfast, Castiel is guided by Charlie to a room that looks like a run-down laboratory. He places on his white lab coat and mentally prepares himself for the weekend ahead of him as his weekend lab partner Dean Winchester practically skips over to him, spilling chemicals on the table as he throws them down - words cannot describe how wide his smile was. Oh, how was Cas going to survive this weekend?


	8. Records And Leather Jackets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE. I've been really busy lately raising money for charity and stuff. Also I'm still in shock from my results day (I got 2A*'s, 6A's and 2B's which took me a while to get over honestly I was like woaaaaah) 
> 
> I felt bad for not updating in like forever, so this chapter is hella cute, just for you.
> 
> Thank you for being so patient! I promise that I'll update soon. 
> 
> Also, thank you again for messages, kudos and comments, I love you all soooooooooooo much! 
> 
> Enjoy this chapter! :)

Dean taps his fingers against the steering wheel relatively in time to the music while he waits for Sam.

In the gap of silence between the next song, Dean leans out of the window and shouts to his brother who is fumbling around in the doorway.

“Sammy come on I’m gonna be late.” He says, turning the music up louder when the next song starts.

“Whatever, Jerk” Sam shouts over the music as he locks the door and shuffles tiredly over to the passenger seat of Dean’s Impala.

“Bitch” Dean mutters under his breath as he changes the gear and gets the car rolling, Blue Oyster Cult blaring through the open windows.

Dean drifts along the open road, paying no attention to the speed limit and looking away from the road when he catches Sam in the corner of his eye, fixing his hair in the mirror in the car.

“Some girl then?” Dean jokes, laughing at his own sarcasm.

Sam looks away from the mirror and instead glares at Dean. “Don’t be stupid Dean” he mumbles.

“So it _is_ a girl!” Dean says, almost shocked that his little brother is going on an _actual_ date. The car swerves slightly and Sam shouts at Dean to keep his eyes on the road as he attempts to get the car back to safety.

“My bad,” Dean says through a relieved laugh.

“Maybe if you pay attention to the speed limit,” Sam says with an ultimate bitchface. 

“You say speed limit, I say-” Dean waves his hand in a weird hand gesture, “guidelines.”

“Yeah, well these ‘guidelines’ will stop you from killing us both.” Sam says and sighs, leaning back into his seat and whipping out his phone when he gets a text. He smiles as he reads, then types a reply and places the mobile back in his pocket.

“So who is this girl?” Dean says, sticking to Sam’s advice and not looking away from the road ahead.

“Why do you care?” Sam replies.

Dean laughs, “Just making sure that she’s good enough for my little Sammy.” He says, giving Sam a punch on the arm.

“I am not _little._ ”He simply replies. “Just you wait – one day I’ll be so much taller than you and then _you_ will know what this feels like.”

“Yeah, you’ll be taller than me one day.” Sam smiles, obviously content with the answer he’s got. “Yeah,” Dean continues. “You’ll be taller than me, pigs will fly and the sun will move round the Earth. What a great era that will be.” Dean jokes.

“You’re such a jerk.” Sam says, laughing.

“But come on, who is it that you’re going on a date with?” Dean asks again.

Sam gives in and sighs. “Her name is Jess. She helps out in the school library and I sit next to her in English class. And this isn’t a date, we’re just studying.” Sam couldn’t hide his disappointed tone.

“Studying.” Dean said like he didn’t believe it. “That’s what they call it nowadays.” Dean laughs.

“You are _so_ hilarious!” Sam says, his expression oozing with sarcasm.

Dean pulls up the drive of the house Sam directed him too. It’s a large house, with a small balcony, red bricked walls and two white Jaguar cars parked casually in the driveway.

“Son of a bitch, this chic is loaded!” Dean says, his mouth gaped open as he stares at the house.

“Dude, no” Sam says, closing the door behind him as he steps out, his bag slung around his shoulder.

“Dude, _yes._ ” Dean shouts after him as Sam rings the doorbell. A young blonde girl opens the door – Dean assumes that the girl is Jess. She waves at Dean and he waves back, giving her a small smile before heading off the driveway. He checks the time and sees that he only has exactly twelve minutes to get to work.

“Shit,” he says under his breath before speeding down the road.

x

Dean almost runs into thee record shop, dipping his car keys into the deep pockets of his black skinny jeans.

“Sorry I’m late Garth!” Dean shouts to him as he slides over the counter and stands near the till. The line of customers waiting to pay quickly fades as Dean serves them one by one before relaxing into the old chair behind him.

Garth steps out of his office holding a Boston album and walks over to the rock section of the shop.

“It’s fine Dean, it’s not like I’m paying you or anything.” He says with a small smile.

Dean smiles sarcastically back at him. He’s glad that Garth likes him, otherwise he’d be getting the sack before you can say ‘bass guitar’.

The shift was pretty normal – hours of discussing music with paying customers, the occasional flirting with pretty girls and singing along to Fleetwood Mac playing in the background of the shop – Garth’s favourite band as Dean guessed by the constant playing. Although Dean didn’t like to admit it, he really enjoys working here – good music, good company and good pay – well, as far as Dean was concerned. He’s obviously Garth’s favourite employee, everyone who works there knows that, so he gets payed extra, just for showing off that pretty smile of his. You wouldn’t believe how many customers have returned after they’ve seen Dean. It is awfully suspicious that their peak time for sales is whenever Dean’s shift is – weird, right?

Dean is generally pretty free when it comes to working here – he gets to roam around the shop, look at records and chat. The only time he actually has to do anything is when he mans the till or sorts out the records. It’s a long and tedious job, but at least Dean gets to discover new albums to listen to (although he’s listened to most of them already)

x

Dean is in the back store room, picking out which box to start with. It’s dark and dull in here, but the bright colours of the albums make up for it. He settles for one cardboard box with CLASSIC ROCK written in black sharpie on the front. He sits on the floor, his legs crossed and flicks through the records. He pulls out one that catches his eye and reads the title out loud, “Pink Floyd, The Dark Side Of The Moon.” He shrugs and carries in his arms to the record player. He takes out the random Deep Purple record that was playing, replaces it with the one he’s just found and walks away, leaving the music playing softly in the background.

“Dean,” Garth shouts from behind the counter. “I’m paying you to sort the records out, not play them.” He’s trying to be strict, but Dean can see the smile he’s trying to hide.

“Aye aye captain.” Dean says, saluting Garth as he steps back into the store room. He picks up the box he was looking through earlier and carries it into the main shop, letting the door slam shut behind him. The loud noise leads to a disappointed look from Garth and a few glares from customers, including a group of four girls who continue to stare at Dean, even after everyone else stops. He can feel the four pairs of eyes on him as he walks all the way over to the other end of the shop, where he finally places down the heavy box. He begins to sort the records out before being interrupted by one of the girls he saw staring at him.

“Hey,” the girl says. Dean looks up at her – she’s just a little bit smaller than Dean, even with her bright red high heels on. She’s wearing a short black mini skirt and a tight white crop top with a picture of a forest printed on. Her red lipstick matched her shoes and her tight curls complimented her dark hair well. – She was pretty attractive as far as Dean could see.

“Can I help you?” Dean says, still stacking records into their assigned slots.

“Yeah,” she says with confidence. She looks at her friends then back at Dean, twiddling her hair between her fingers. “We’re looking for a record…I know it has a good drum part…” she says, looking at Dean right in the eyes, chewing her gum and blowing a bubble. Dean nods, as a sign for her to continue. “But I always say,” Dean gets back to sorting records, but still listens, “save a drum, bang a drummer, right?” Dean’s eyes pop open in shock and he looks up at her. She has a wide smile on her face. “Do you play?” She asks, the smile still there. She leans forward and whispers into Dean’s ear, “Because I’ll show you how to bang a drum, honey.” Dean can’t hide his shock as her hand reaches round him and grabs his ass. She cups it between her hand and begins to slowly nibble at his neck as she plants small kisses on his skin.

Just at that moment, none other than Castiel Novak walks into the shop, the bell jingling as he steps through the door. Dean pulls the girl’s hands off him and struggles out of her grip, running towards Cas and shouting his name.

“Cas, hey!” Dean says in genuine surprise. “What brings you here?” He asks, intrigued – Castiel doesn’t look like the type to step into a record shop.

“I…” Castiel is blatantly more shocked that Dean was. “I’m looking for a record…obviously,” Castiel says shyly, looking down at his feet.

“Oh, what are you looking for?” Dean says, a little too eager.

Castiel stares at Dean, his face holding shock and anxiety. “I’m looking for Led Zeppelin IV…it’s from 1970-something.” Castiel says with a shrug. “It’s my mum’s favourite album but she lost it years ago. I’m thinking about buying her a new one for her birthday next week and – sorry, I’m going into way too much detail. You probably don’t care at all.” Castiel runs a hand through his dark ruffled hair and gives Dean a small smile.

 “Here, I’ll show you where it is,” Dean offers.

Castiel looks around, his eyes darting to and fro. “Maybe I should find someone who works here,” Cas says.

Dean sighs and rolls his eyes. “I do work here Cas, I have for like two years now. No one knows this place like I do,” he says with pride.

He leads Castiel over to the Led Zeppelin section – yes, that’s right. Dean thought that Led Zeppelin deserved their very own section of the record shop.

It doesn’t take Dean more than ten seconds to find the album Cas wants and he picks it out, showing it to Cas and walking over to the till.

Cas pays for the record and thanks Dean as he turns around out the door. Dean watches as the blue-eyed boy steps out of the door, the ringing of the bell stinging in Dean’s ears.

In the spur of the moment, Dean leaps over the counter and runs through the door, looking around frantically for Cas. He sees the boy heading into a small alleyway and runs after him, not even caring that Garth is shouting him from inside the shop.

“Cas,” Dean shouts as he grabs Castiel’s shoulder and turns him around so that they’re facing each other.

“Dean…what do you want?” Castiel says in confusion.

“I’m just sick Cas,” Dean says, staring into Cas’s deep blue eyes. “I’m sick of you rushing off and pretending to see me. Sick of feeling like shit whenever I see you leave. I guess…I guess I’m just sick of missing you Castiel Novak.” His name rolled on his tongue as smooth as melted butter.

“Dean…I don’t understand.”

“Cas for god’s sake – open your freaking eyes and you’ll see.”

There was a moment of silence.

“See what?” Castiel says quietly.

Dean swallows loudly. “See…us…ya’know…”

Before Castiel can think of an answer, Dean grabs his face with both of his hands and leans in vigorously forcing his tongue into Cas’s mouth.

“Fuck Cas, I really like you ok?” Dean mutters between breaths as his and Cas’s lips press together. Castiel drops the bag holding the record and grabs Dean’s waist, caressing every inch of his skin and putting his hand up Dean’s leather jacket and shirt to get a better grip as he pulls Dean closer, dipping his head as he tugs at Dean’s bottom lip between his teeth.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” Dean asks, panting.

Castiel leans in for one more small peck on Dean’s soft lips.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he whispers in Dean’s ear.


	9. Sweet Like Sugar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda switches between Cas's and Dean's POV, but I'm sure you'll figure it out - it's nothing too dramatic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY AGAIN FOR TAKING SO LONG ERG.  
> I thought that it would be better to take longer and have a good chapter than give you a really bad short one...  
> Also; yay, school! So if it takes me ages to update please remind me or something because I'll be so busy I won't even notice.  
> But; thank you for all your support, you guys are amazing and I love you all! <3 <3
> 
> ENJOY! :)

Cas slips his hands up the bottom of Dean’s leather jacket and slowly begins to remove it - arm by arm, his eyes closed and blinded by the pure lust he feels right now as he rolls his tongue through every part of Dean’s mouth.

Before he knows it, Cas is separating himself from Dean’s already familiar lips. He feels empty and hollow without the weight of Dean pressed up against him.

“Can you give me a minute?” Cas says before he knows what he’s doing. Dean nods silently and Cas walks over to what he assumes is the bathroom, running a single hand through his messy dark hair. The sound of the door silently closing echoing throughout the otherwise empty house.

x

Castiel presses his head against the cold mirror that’s plastered to the tiled bathroom wall.

“Erh,” he sighs to himself. How could he let things get so out of control? He was just going to nip into the record shop and go straight home; a simple in-and-out procedure, but fate obviously had other ideas.

He hits his head softly against the mirror, the fragile glass shaking and rattling against the wall.

Castiel wanted to forget all about Dean – to never get in touch or even make eye contact and now here he is, in Dean’s house running his hands up the other boy’s body and _liking it_.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid_ Cas repeats to himself through gritted teeth.

A light knocking on the door breaks the pattern of hitting his head and cursing to himself.

“Cas, you ok?” Dean asks quietly.

 _I don’t know_ Cas whimpers to himself. He feels a small tear run down his face, rolling down each and every grove in his skin.

It’s only when Dean rattles the handle that Castiel realises that he’s locked the door. He unlocks the door, fighting back the sobs forming when he attempts to speak.

As soon as the door is unlocked Dean bursts in and looks up at Castiel with worried eyes.

“Cas,” he whispers. That’s when Castiel broke – he loses balance and collapses onto the floor in front of Dean who can only attempt to grab Cas’s arms and decrease the impact as he hits the ground.

Castiel grips tightly onto Dean’s leg, sobbing into the soaked material covering it.

Dean kneels down on the cold floor next to Cas.

“Shh, it’s ok Cas…everything’s fine.” Dean whispers calmly into Castiel’s ear.

“I’m sorry Dean, I’m so sorry,” Castiel almost screams, his tear-stained face crumbling in front of Dean’s eyes.

Castiel’s sobbing turns into silence as his voice breaks in his throat. Dean continues to hush him, cradling Cas in his embrace and stroking his damp hair.

When Cas is relatively calm, he looks up at Dean – his eyes shining more blue than ever, glistening with fresh tears.

“I’m sorry,” Cas says after a moment of silence. “I kinda killed the mood, right?”

Dean breaths out heavily as a sort of half laugh, still clutching Cas in his arms.

“Baby we got all the time in the world. The mood can come back.” He kisses Cas softly on the forehead and stands up abruptly. “You wanna come?” Dean says, pointing to the bed.

Cas nods slowly and stands up, wiping away the tears running down his face and forcing a helpless smile. He grabs hold of the hand Dean is holding out for him and pulls himself up, shuffling over the room and bouncing onto the bed, lying down and staring blankly at the ceiling.

Dean quietly lies beside him, looking at Cas longing and caring.

“You wanna talk about it?” Dean almost whispers.

Cas laughs to hold back the tears forming in his eyes again. He tries to talk, but his bottom lip trembles and the water flows down his face like a river.

Dean leans over automatically and hugs Cas tight. “Come on Cas, talking about it will make it better - I promise.” He digs his nose deep into the crying boy’s hair, kissing him over and over.

“Promise?” Cas says in a croaky voice, his arched brows almost meeting as he holds that confused expression, his sagging eyes holding both pain and hope.

Dean looks into Cas’s deep crystal eyes. “Promise. And I never break my promises Mr Novak.” He says and embraces him one last time before lying back down beside the boy.

“It’s…” Cas starts. Dean turns and looks at him, waiting for Cas to continue.

“It’s Naomi…my mother, I…she prefers it if I call her Naomi.” He looks at Dean who is just staring at him, intrigued. “Well…It’s not her birthday. I… I lied. I brought the record as a sort of peace offering I suppose. It sounds stupid now I say it out loud.” Cas laughs.

Dean runs a hand through Cas’s hair. “No it doesn’t Cas.” He assures him.

Cas clears his throat, surprised at how Dean is responding; not what he was expecting at all. “We kinda had an argument… the details don’t really matter, but I… we were… it’s my fault really.” Silent tears crumble down.

“Cas,” Dean says. He wipes the tears away from Cas using his thumb and plants a gentle kiss on his soft wet lips. “None of this is your fault. Sure, it might not be Naomi’s fault either. Why can’t it be no one’s fault? Why can’t things just fix themselves? Why can’t parents just…” One lonely tear leaks out of Dean’s eye and he looks up at Cas, his voice trembling. “Why can’t things just be perfect?” His voice hoarse, almost a whisper.

Now it was Cas’s turn to comfort the other. Cas holds Dean between his arms, returning the favour from earlier. They sob together quietly, holding each other in their clenched arms.

x

 “Dean, you awake?” Cas says quietly, not wanting to wake Dean if he is sleeping.

“No…you?” Dean responds immediately in a sleepy, low voice.

Cas laughs slightly. “How could I be awake if I asked the question.”

Dean joins him in laughing. “I don’t know man, it’s late.” It’s only now that Cas realises that him and Dean are cradled around each other, their legs intertwining and tangled, pressed deep into the mattress below them - Cas’s head rests against Dean’s chest and Dean is tracing slow circles on Castiel’s back.

“Do you know what time it is?” Cas asks.

Dean lifts Cas off him slightly as he reaches over to the bedside table. Their shirts stick together with sweat and Cas has to physically peel himself off Dean. He lays on his back and stares at the ceiling. The light is off, so the only light is from the small lamp on the desk that flickers occasionally and the streetlamps outside – orange rays seep through the closed curtains.

The room seems suddenly brighter as Dean clicks on his phone – the white light spreading around the otherwise dark bedroom.

“9.20 exactly.” Dean says before placing the phone down and relaxing back into Cas’s arms.

Cas closes his eyes and sighs. His eyes are still sticky and dry from crying all those hours ago, but he can deal with it as long as he’s in Dean’s arms.

After what seems like forever, Dean talks – his voice hushed and calm. “You can stay as long as you want Cas.” Dean turns around and props himself up, staring down at Cas. “In fact…”

Castiel laughs, “are you blushing Dean Winchester?”

Dean slaps him lightly on the arm. “I am _not_ blushing! I’m just saying… I’d like you to stay… for as long as you want.”

Cas smiles and leans up to Dean, passionately kissing him, his eyes closed and his hands exploring Dean’s hair, twisting golden brown locks between his fingers. They are only broken apart when the front door opens and closes violently.

“Shit,” Dean’s eyes flicker open in panic and he jolts out of bed and is out the door and down the stair before Castiel can even bring his hand away. Realising that it’s hopeless going after him, Castiel leans back into the soft mattress and curls up under the duvet, attempting to go to sleep before he is interrupted by Dean, which he knows (and hopes) he will be.

x

Dean runs down the stairs faster that lighting thrown from Zeus himself and stops dead at the bottom of the stairs.

He breaths a heavy sigh of relief when he sees Sam pouring some orange juice in the kitchen.

“Sammy, it’s you… I thought you might be Bobby or…” Dean doesn’t think that he needs to finish that sentence.

Sam rolls his eyes and gives Dean a both sassy and bitchy look. “No, he’s at the roadhouse tonight with Ellen. Can’t blame him – if I had to see your ugly mug everyday I’d run to the hills too.”

“You _do_ have to see my ugly mug every day, bitch.” Dean grabs Sammy in a headlock and rubs his hair with his knuckle.

Sam wriggles out of Dean’s grip and shakes his head, patting his hair down. After one or two shakes, his hair is practically smooth and perfect.

“It is _really_ annoying how your hair does that, you know?” Dean whines.

“Shut up, jerk – it’s natural talent.” Sam laughs. “So… what made you come down in such a hurry?” Sam asks, intrigued.

Now Dean rolls his eyes – trust Sammy to be asking questions.

“My bo-my _friend_ Cas is upstairs. He’s had a bad day so I said he could stop round – no biggie.” Dean shrugs his shoulders.

Sam steps right up to him, stands on his tip-toes and scowls into Dean’s eyes.

Then, he suddenly starts to laugh. “You _like_ him!” He teases. He then begins to skip around the kitchen chanting, _“Dean and Cas sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”_

“Sammy I swear to god if you don’t shut up I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Ok, ok!” Sam says through a hearty laugh. He throws himself down onto the couch and snuggles into the pillows beside him. “But you _do_ like him.” He says, quieter now as if it’s more serious.

Dean sits on the edge of the couch, his hands placed on his open legs as he slouches over them.

“I guess so,” he whispers.

“I’m sorry,” Sam says sarcastically, sitting upright. “I don’t think I heard that.” He cups his ear, telling Dean to speak louder.

“Yes, ok!” Dean laughs. “I guess I like him, is that a crime?” He says, nudging Sam. The two of them laugh together.

“So, my brother Dean likes a guy – like _like like_ s a guy…” he shrugs. “Took your bloody time didn’t you?”

Dean nudges him again, harder this time. “You are such a bitch, you…bitch.” Dean says before pulling his brother in for a warm hug.

“Get of me, Jerk.” Sam manages to say, his cheeks squished together as Dean continues to embrace his little brother. “If you’re gonna be all soppy like that, you could at least go and get my drink first.” Sam says before sticking his tongue out at Dean who begins to walk to the kitchen.

Dean holds out the drink on a tray and bows, one hand behind his back. “un jus d'orange pour monsieur” Dean says in his best French accent.

“Dean as painful as this is to hear – you’re not French…and your accent sucks.” He takes the orange juice from the tray.  

“I am _so_ French! Hon hon baguette, le swim, etc etc” Dean says, throwing his arms all over the place as he attempts to roll his r’s like the French do.  

“Dean you sound like a drowning cat, please stop.” Sam says, laughing and almost choking on his juice.  

“Ok, ok!” Dean says, “I can’t take it anymore. I’ll take hot-blooded American any day.”  Dean sits next to Sam and relaxes into the couch, mirroring the actions of his brother earlier – the muffled sounds of some weird documentary Sam put on humming in the background.

x

Cas stands at the bottom of the staircase, smiling to himself. He doubts that Dean’s even realised that he’s been stood here for the entire time, but for some reason he doesn’t care. He’d much rather admire Dean from afar and it really is poetic how cute he is when he’s with his brother.  

As quietly as he can, Cas steps up the stairs and climbs back into bed, waiting for Dean to come back and snuggle with him. How could he have hated this guy? He’s probably the most beautiful, kindest person on the planet and all Cas did was push him away. Well, not anymore. Cas is determined to make Dean happy, like he is when he’s with his brother. Cas _will_ make him happy and in turn, hopefully it will make Cas happy… 

Yeah – Cas had fallen for the right guy, that’s for sure.


	10. It's Better To Leave Than Be Replaced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter! 
> 
> I don't think I can begin to tell you all how much I love you; this fic wouldn't be possible without all your support! 
> 
> I'm sorry that I've been taking so long to upload, but I really am trying to balance time management and good quality writing, so apologies if any of my chapters are really bad... :3 
> 
> Comments, kudos and messages are all highly appreciated, I never thought that I would get this response and honestly if someone told me that me fic would be this long and this loved I would've laughed in their face, so thank you all so so so so much.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

“Well?” Charlie says, waiting for answer she was never going to get.  

Castiel looks above the book he’s reading at Charlie, raising an eyebrow.  

“What happened?” Charlie urges.

 Castiel puts the book down on his bedside table and looks at Charlie, clueless. “I don’t know what you mean,” he says in a mocking tone, shrugging his shoulders. This leads to Charlie jumping out of Jo’s lap which she’s been using as a human couch for at least an hour and slapping him hard on the thigh.  “You tell us now or god help me I’ll...” Charlie says threateningly, pointing her index finger in his direction and scowling hard.  

“You’ll what?” Cas says, leaving both Jo and Charlie shocked, their mouths gaped open as they stare at him.  

“Well I’m afraid you leave me no choice!” Charlie says as she lunges onto the bed, grabbing Cas’s waist and kissing him hard; her tongue poking its way into his mouth. It doesn’t take Castiel more than two seconds to pull her off, his face full of pure terror as Jo laughs hysterically in the background.  

“Charlie ew, what the hell! That’s so…straight, what’s wrong with you?” Castiel shouts, confusion running through his voice, throwing her off the bed. Her and Jo are bend-double, clutching their stomachs in pain as they laugh to themselves.  Castiel throws a pillow at them which hits Jo straight in the face, yet she continues to laugh. “You two sound like hyenas… and again, what the hell!” Cas says, trying to sound annoyed but failing and eventually joining them in laughing, wiping the taste of his best friend off his lips.

 x 

Once the laughter’s settled down, Charlie wipes the tears away from her eyes and turns her attention back to Castiel.  “So, are you gonna tell us now or do I have to attempt third base?” She says.  

“Ok none of us want to see that,” Cas starts. “So I guess I have no choice…anyway, it’s not like anything happened.” Cas shrugs.  Charlie and Jo look at each other with raised eyebrows and rolled eyes.  “Basically… so yeah, I met him whilst I was in the shop – I already told you that bit – and well…” he continues, blushing slightly.  

“Well…” Charlie urges once again. 

“ _Well_ , he kinda… kissed me in the alley…” Cas says quietly.  Charlie and Jo grab each other in excitement, squealing like school girls.  

“Oh my god, what was it like?”

“Was it everything your heart dreamed it would be?”

“Did he use tongue?”

“Did he use _anything else_?”  Charlie and Jo’s questions were endless and Castiel answered them all.  

“So, what happened next?” they ask in unison.  

Cas shrugs. “We went back to his and then-” 

“And then you fucked his brains out!” Jo shouted with excitement, jumping up and down; which was weirdly unnatural, as she was sitting down.  

“Jo, no!” Cas almost screamed, “sweet Jesus Christ!” he looks around in utter shock. Is that really the kind of guy they think he is? 

“So what _did_ happen?” Charlie says.  

“We went back to his and just…sort of cuddled. It was cute I guess,” he shrugs. Charlie and Jo sigh in annoyance.  

“For god’s sake Cas, when are you gonna do the do?” Jo asks, frustration whirling out of her mouth.  

“The what?” Cas asks. 

“The _do_ ” Jo exclaims.  

“Excuse me?” He asks again.

“Ya’know. The do, the frick frack, the booty popping monkey mayhem.” Jo says, confused as to how Cas has no idea about what she’s saying.  

“*cough* virgin *cough*” Charlie mutters under her breath.  

Castiel’s mouth hangs open, “how very dare you Charlie Bradbury!” He says, throwing another pillow at her.  

“You need to get laid Cas,” she says, throwing the pillow back at him, hard. This results in another round of laughter.  

“I do _not_ ,” Cas says, pretending to be hurt by clutching his heart and fake crying.  

“You so do Castiel Novak,” Charlie says, grabbing the glass of water next to her and throwing it down Castiel’s torso. “Now look, you’re a mess Cas, get yourself together,” she jokes.  Castiel stands up, cold from the icy water and whips off his t-shirt, throwing it down at Charlie, the soaking material sticking to her face. 

“Ew ew ew!” she screams. “It’s _freezing._ ” Castiel laughs, lifting up the t-shirt and walking over the door. He steps out and places the wet t-shirt into the laundry basket situated outside his room.

He walks back into the room to see Charlie and Jo having a steamy make out session on the floor.  “Get your own room, goddamn it.” Castiel laughs.  

“Hey Cas,” Jo says, “You’ve got no top.”  

“Well done,” Castiel jokes, “can you reach into my wardrobe and grab me something.” 

Suddenly Jo and Charlie burst into laughter. Through a laugh, Charlie says, “she didn’t mean _that_ type of top Cas.”  

It takes Castiel a minute to understand what they mean and finally it clicks.  “Oh. My. God.” Cas says, pinching the bridge of his nose and breathing steadily and heavily.  

Castiel just about hears the knocking on the door from underneath the girly laughs and shouts for the person to come in.  

Unexpectedly, none other than Dean Winchester steps into the room and Castiel is caught off-guard, realising that he is indeed topless at this moment in time.  “Dean…hey,” Castiel says, still in shock.  

Dean obviously tries to look anywhere but Cas’s naked torso. “Cas, hey. Sorry I didn’t know you’d had company… but wow, looks like you guys are having a good time,” Dean forces a laugh but his signature toothy smile isn’t there. That’s how Castiel knows something’s wrong.  

Castiel grabs the first t-shirt he sees, which happens to be a black t-shirt with some random Nirvana lyrics on and heads out the door with Dean, shouting bye to Charlie and Jo who will no doubt be waiting for however long it takes for him to get back so that they can get all the juicy gossip.

 x 

Cas and Dean continue walking down the same path they have been for half an hour now.  “Dean, what’s the matter?” Cas asks, skipping the rest of the awkward small talk.  

Dean kicks a stone in front of him, his hands in his pockets and his eyes pinned to the ground.  “I’ve gotta go somewhere…for a while” Dean says quietly, still staring at the pavement as he walks solemnly. 

“That’s cool, I don’t know why you going away would bother me,” Cas rambles, “not that I want you to go, but ya’know it’s only for a while, right?” It’s only now that Dean looks up from the ground, staring at Castiel with teary forest eyes.  

“Dean…” Cas says, his voice soothing and hurt, “it is only for a while…isn’t it?” Tears began to form in his eyes and he stops walking, his arms drooping beside his hunched body.

Dean begins to sob, choking on his tears as he drops to the bench that conveniently happened to be next them, clawing his forehead with his trembling fingers.  “I-” Dean starts before being cut off by his own crying. Castiel sits beside him, holding him and joining him in crying, his throat sore and dry. “I don’t know when I’m coming back Cas.” He looks up at Castiel, his eyes red and almost swollen. It’s only know that Castiel notices the newly formed purple bruises on Dean’s wrists. He goes to touch them, only to be wiped away by Dean who is now walking fast away from him.  

“Dean!” Castiel shouts, standing up from his spot on the bench.  

Dean turns, but continues to walk backwards, trying hard to hold back the tears, “It’s better like this Cas… just go back to when you hated me, it... it’ll make everything so much easier, ok?” He turns back around and walks, his body bend over and huddled.  

“Dean please,” Castiel calls. He begins to run and once he catches up with Dean he pulls him towards him by his shoulder, spinning him so that he has nowhere to look except Cas’s flooding face. “Dean, I… I love you Dean, please don’t go.” Castiel says between harsh sobs.  

Dean takes a sharp intake of breath and closes his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them he’s like a completely different person; his eyes are fresh and scowling, his voice harsh and uncaring, “forget about me Cas. Love? Love is nothing. What use is love to someone like me? I’m not wasting my life on ‘I love you’s and clique fucking rose bouquets, ok? Truth is Cas, that I _did_ believe in love - A long freaking time ago. But, no. things happen, shit went down and I realised…ya’know. Love is nothing compared to the truth. The truth that nobody will ever love you for _you_. we just gotta deal with that baby. So, go; forget me Castiel Novak. For your own good.” With that he walks off, ignoring the screams from Castiel behind him, silent tears falling from his eyes.  

x 

Castiel sits for hours, staring at the sunset behind the thick trees. The tears stopped falling a long time ago, but Castiel only thinks that’s because there’s nothing left to fall. It feels like he’s _literally_ cried all of the emotions out of his body and now… there’s nothing.  He hangs his head in his hands, silently sobbing into his hands and cursing himself.

Why did he get so involved with Dean Winchester of all people, he knew it would never end well. He mentally scolds himself, repeatedly hitting his fist against his head – anything to distract him from the pain deep inside his heart. Suddenly, he’s overwhelmed with an impulsive burst of rage. He clenches his hands into fists, his palms growing pale and white from his fingers digging imprints into them.  

How could Dean leave him? What caused his to say those things? He didn’t even say goodbye. _He didn’t even say goodbye_.

x

“Do you have to go Dean?” Sam says softly. Dean is stood in the doorway, a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder.  

“I don’t want to Sammy… honestly, I don’t…. but I have to… you understand, right?” Dean says apologetically.  

“What about Cas?” Sam says nervously. Dean’s eyes fill with regret and grow sad, all glimpse of hope gone.  

“It’s for the best… he doesn't need me, he-” Dean says. He’s interrupted by the car horn of the impala being impatiently pressed behind him. “I gotta go Sammy… I’ll see you later.” Dean says. He walks towards the car and dumps his bag in the boot before getting into the passenger seat.  

“You ready boy?” The man next to him says. 

Dean looks at the man he used to know – now a stranger who he’s supposed to trust and whispers, "yes sir.”


	11. Home On The Highway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's POV for a change
> 
>  
> 
> THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN UPDATED FOR ANYONE WHO WAS WONDERING WHY IT WAS ONLY DEAN THAT JOHN TOOK. (Idk man I just made it up, it's not much more)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST HAD TO UPDATE, I COULDN'T LEAVE IT WHERE IT WAS.  
> So here's the next chapter!  
> By the way, the song Dean sings later on is called 'Burnin' for you' by Blue Oyster Cult, so if you wanna listen to it, it might make more sense...maybe, idk. It's also where I got this chapter title from and honestly I'd say it's a pretty good representation of this chapter and what Dean's feeling at this moment in time. 
> 
> The beginning of this chapter kinda explains what happened and why Dean left, so if the last chapter confused you a little, everything should make sense now...hopefully. 
> 
> Thank you for all your messages, kudos and comments (I'm sorry if I shattered your emotions in the last chapter) 
> 
> Enjoy! :) <3

**An hour earlier.**

"Dean come on, give it to me!" Sam shouts, running after Dean who is gripping Sam's mobile in his hand, his arm raised high in the air as he runs through the house, laughing as he goes. 

"You'll have to catch me first!" He shouts back at him, continuing to run. 

Dean begins to read the text as he runs, almost crashing into the walls of the labyrinth his house seems to have suddenly become. "Hey, Jess! Isn't that the chick whose house you went to a while ago?"

"Dean, no!" Sam shouts in terror as he reaches Dean and jumps, attempting to grab the mobile out of Dean's hand. 

" _Sam, I would love to! How about 8:30 on Thursday?_ Freaking hell, is my little Sammy going on a date?” Dean says, shocked. 

Sam stops jumping and sighs heavily. “Yeah, I guess. Can I have my phone back now?” 

Dean scoffs, “er, no?” he says before beginning to run again, heading for the front door, opening it as Sam shouts his name. Dean runs out the door, looking back at Sam and laughing. He is stopped in his tracks by a tall muscular form stood in the doorway. 

“Oh, sorry” Dean says, out of breath before looking up to see his father staring down at him. 

“Hey son,” John says and steps into the house, treading muddy footprints into the cream carpet. 

“Dad?” Dean whispers, astonished at what he’s seeing. Four years of nothing and now this? He and Sam look at each other as their father stomps through the house, admiring the décor. 

“That’s sir to you boy,” John says casually.

Dean clenches his fists into fierce balls of rage and glares at his father. “I’ll call you _sir_ when you deserve it you bastard.” 

John lurches towards Dean and grabs his by his wrists, squeezing harder every time Dean screamed and tried to squirm out of his tough grip.

“Get off me!” Dean shouts. 

Through gritted teeth John says, “Get off me _what_?” 

Dean’s eyes fill with crystal clear tears and he whispers, “Sir.” 

John drops Dean’s wrists, the bruising standing out against his fragile freckled skin. “That’s better. Now get your stuff ready, we’re going.” He says and grabs the impala’s keys off the coffee table. He walks out of the door and Dean can hear the engine of his beloved impala starting up outside. 

"What about Sam?" Dean calls after his father.

With a spiteful tone, his father replies. "Look at him Dean. How long do you think a kid like that would last out in the wild?" He says laughing.

Sam would like to say that he's hurt by the comment, but honestly he's just glad that he doesn't have to spend another minute with that awful guy - not that he can say the same about his brother.

“You can’t honestly say you want to go with him,” Sam says as Dean begins to pack his things into a black duffel bag. 

Dean wipes his tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie, “I don’t think I have a choice Sammy,” he says, his voice breaking. 

Dean stops packing as he realises – what about Cas? Surely he can’t just leave him, that’s just plain _wrong._

“I gotta go somewhere for a minute. I’ll be back soon, promise.”  Dean says to his younger brother. He walks out the door then turns around, “tell dad not to go without me, ok?” Sam breaths out and nods silently. 

Dean starts the long walk to Cas’s house, holding back all the tears he feels like flooding out. He has to do the one thing he knows he has to – he has to make Cas hate him; it’s the only way, otherwise he’ll spend forever crying over him and that is not what Dean wants at all.

x

**Present Day**

Dean clings the duffel bag in his arms as he and his father walk to their motel room – Dean knows how easy it is to get robbed in this part of town, not that anyone would rob him – there was only a few things in his bag and nothing valuable.  It’s been 3 months today that Dean left home. The endless days of staying alone in mouldy old motel rooms and waiting for the next beating from his father, but he couldn’t leave. He knows that this is where he belongs, _what he deserves_. As they step into the room, the smell of dust hits Dean like a bucket of ice cold water. He begins to choke on the dirtiness of the dark room and as he places his bag on one of the beds, a hurricane of dust whirling out from beneath the duvet. “I’ll back in a few days,” John says as he heads out of the door, leaving Dean in the dark room, only lit by the dim flickering lamp on the table. Dean pulls off his dirty t-shirt and throws it to the floor. He undresses himself all the way down and steps through the creaky door into the bathroom, turning on the cold water running slowly from the showerhead. He turns around and glances a look at his face in the steamy mirror. He wipes the mirror with one hand to reveal his saddened drooping face, his eyes sagging beneath the bruises running down his face that match the ones printed on the rest of his body.

Dean is overcome with a rage as fierce as fire and punches the mirror hard, the pieces falling to the ground like a silvery, shimming shower of hail. He glares down at his bleeding hand, the tears shining like tiny moonbeams. Dean vigorously pulls out all the pieces of glass indented in his cuts and shakes the pain off – he’s sure that the water will wash away any smaller pieces.

Dean climbs into the shower and runs his hands through his wet hair, untangling the knots that have formed due to the lack of care – it could really do with a decent brush right now. The icy water masks Dean’s tears and they tumble down the drain like lonely, wandering clouds.

The bruised boy tramples through the motel room in a grubby towel over to the bed. He gets out a fresh pair of underwear, a plain grey t-shirt and a small first aid kit.

First he dresses himself and then opens the first aid kit, rummaging around for some sort of bandage. After moments of frantic searching, he finds a cream coloured bandage and slips it carefully over his wound, tightly sealing it with a dab of tape. Dean remembers the broken mirror on the bathroom floor and carefully sweeps the pieces into his hands, placing the sharp glass into the bin near the bed.

He throws the open duffel bag onto the floor, cursing himself when everything falls out. He groans as he clatters to the floor, chucking everything back into the bag. Only two things catch his attention – a picture frame with a photo of Sam, him and their mother in from when they were younger. God, how Dean misses his mother. She died suddenly when he was very young – when Sam was still in a crib, for that matter. He never found out how she died – something about a fire. All he knows is that their father now went on random week-long trips around the country, dumping Sam and Dean in motel rooms to care for themselves. The second item was his mobile. He hasn't checked it in weeks and it shows. There's a few texts from people at school asking where he was and a couple from Cas. Did he want to read them? The temptation was all too much for the Winchester and he opened the first one, from the day after he left.

_Dean, please tell me where you've gone, I'm getting worried._

_I get you don’t want to talk to me, but you can’t cut everyone off Dean. Come back, please…_

_Dean can you at least find decency to call me sometime… or anyone for that matter._

The list of texts were endless, but it was the rest that got to him; 146 missed calls, mainly from Cas and 16 voice mails. They started off generally with a crying Cas – Dean found it hard to understand anything he was saying behind the gasping sobs. The others were weirder, Dean would go as far as to say Cas was drunk in some of them – he would've have said what he did if he was sober.

 _For fucks sake Dean, answer the goddamn phone_. Cas’s tone was slurred and rough – it reminded Dean of his father’s. _Why… why did you go Dean? I… I don’t understand._

 _*beep*_ the sound of the voice mail stung in his ear.

 _You’re gone I get it. But remember that it was **you** who left _ **me.** _you lost me Dean, not the other way round. I wish I’d never met you Dean Winchester - You're nothing to me._

* _beep_ *

The last voice mail rang through Dean’s brain like a school bell. He can’t blame Cas – he has every right to be angry and honestly Dean knew that he was right, it was all his fault – everything always is. John is right; Dean can’t do anything right.

Dean rolls into the bed, the hard mattress creaking every time he tosses and turns - he tries to distract himself by singing quietly to himself.

“ _Home in the darkness_ ” He begins. Silent tears begin to fall.

“ _Home on the highway_ ” he continues to sing terribly out of tune to himself.

“ _Home isn't my way. Home will never be_ ” He wipes his teary eyes with the awfully unclean duvet.

“ _Well I'm burnin’, I'm burnin’, I'm burnin’ for you_ ” Dean sings, ruining the melody with his echoing sobs.

x

Dean wakes up alone, the motel bed damp with sweat and tears. He stretches his arms into the air, the bed creaking. A broken spring in the mattress digs into Dean’s back, most likely forming a nice round bruise and Dean thinks that it's best to climb out and walk out the ache in his back from the awful night’s sleep.

He puts on a fresh (he uses that term _very_ loosely) t-shirt and a pair of pyjama bottoms before tuning on the gas cooker and preparing a cup of hot coffee.

He sits on the couch and turns on the low-quality tv, cradling the coffee in his hands – the heat making up for the lack in heating.

Once the mug is empty, Dean places it in the sink and checks the time on his phone – 11:24am. Jesus, how does time go so fast?

Dean stares at the missed calls section in his mobile for a few minutes.

 _Ah, screw it_ he thinks to himself. He presses the dial button on the number and places it to his ear. It only take two and a half rings for him to answer.

“Dean?” Castiel says, in utter and complete shock. Oh, how Dean has missed that cute, confused voice.

“Hey Cas,” Dean says, trying to put on his best happy tone.


	12. It's A Bad Day, Not A Bad Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> erm...heeeeeeeeeeeeey guys. I cannot apologise enough for how long this took me to write, honestly I've been so busy it's unreal. School man - it just gets to you. 
> 
> I promise that I'll try and keep on top of updates in the future, please don't hate me ^.^ 
> 
> As always, comments, kudos and messages etc are highly appreciated and I hope you all don't want to kill me!
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Castiel grips the warm mug in his hands, taking the occasional sip of coffee. He stares blankly at the cream wall of the coffee shop, his tired eyes sagging and drooping.

“Come on Cas you can’t sit around here for the rest of your life,” Charlie says softly, rubbing her hand up and down Cas’s arm reassuringly - Cas continues to stare at the wall.

“I know it’s tough but you’ve got to let it go,” she continues. She breaths a heavy sigh, slouching back in her chair knowing that all attempts are useless.

It’s been 3 months since Dean left. 3 months of drunken nights and hungover mornings. A whole 3  months of tears that could fill up a lake and 3 months of emptiness filling in Cas’s heavy heart.

The bell above the door rings from the other side of the coffee shop, the sound of heavy footsteps and manic laughter following shortly. Meg and Benny walk over to the coffee counter but stop immediately as they see Cas, silence suddenly greeting them like an old friend.

“Hey,” Meg shouts across the room. A few people look up, but most just continue with their daily business. The shouting unsurprisingly doesn’t bother Cas – he doesn’t even flinch at the high pitched sound.

“I said hey, asshole!” Meg continues, earning her a few tuts from the older members occupying the room.

Charlie sighs and looks up away from Cas, glaring Meg straight in the eyes. “What do you want Meg?” She shouts. She has a tone that says she shouldn’t be messed with, which of course just made it even more impossible for Meg to resist.

Meg taps Benny on the arm and they shoot each other a glance before slow-jogging towards Cas and Charlie.

“So Cas, any idea where Dean is?” Meg starts, much quieter now that they are close.  

“Fuck off Meg,” Charlie says standing up and looking down on her from the height she’s gained over the last few months. “Do you really think that’s the best thing to do? Here of all places?”

Meg scoffs and pushes Charlie slightly out of the way. She squats directly infront of Cas, ignoring the emotionless expression planted on his face. She prods his face and ‘hmm’s before looking up at Benny.

“Well what do we have here?” She says. “Looks like the typical case of a broken heart to me. How poetic. Doctor Benny may I have your opinion on the matter?” Meg says in a joking accent. This results in booming laughter from Benny who is bent over in stiches, laughing.

Meg stands up and says, “come on Benny let’s go – it’s not exactly our fault that Dean didn’t want him. If I had to see his face every day I’d run to the hills too. Maybe Africa, that seems like a cool place to live.” Benny turns round and begins to walk, Meg on the other hand kneels down next to Cas and whispers in his ear, “Wow Castiel, you must’ve really fucked up.”

Castiel suddenly jumps out of his staring competition with the wall and grabs Meg by the collar of her jacket. He pushes her hard against the wall and through gritted teeth snarls, “Don’t. You. Dare.”

The look on Meg’s face is borderline frightened; no-one’s ever seen Cas do something like this and it certainly was _not_ the reaction Meg had hoped for.

When Cas pulls away he feels like all eyes are on him – they’re not of course, but that sure as hell doesn't take away the burning sensation running throughout his whole body.

“Jesus Christ Castiel Novak chill out.” Meg almost whispers before heading out of the door followed by a very shocked Benny.

“Sweet lord of the rings Cas,” Charlie says. Castiel looks up at Charlie, his signature puppy dog expression painted across his face.

“I…” Castiel starts. “I didn’t mean to…” Silent tears roll down his face, dipping over his now thin cheekbones.

Charlie hugs Cas as tight as she dares without thinking that she’ll break any of his bones and sobs quietly into Castiel’s grey top. “Come on Cas, let’s get outta here,” she says. She holds Cas’s hand and drags him out of the shop, giving him a small smile whenever they caught eye contact.

x

Castiel lays on his bed staring up at ceiling. He can’t help but think how intellectual he must look; _staring into the abyss of wonders_ or some shit like that, when in reality he’s wondering why penguins can’t fly.

Charlie had been sat with him for a while until Jo called and asked if she wanted to meet up. Charlie had asked Castiel if he wanted to come but he’d rather be sat alone in the comfort of his own room than on some bench outside Jo’s house whilst the two of them do whatever they hell they do in there.

He glares at the bright screen of his mobile phone, flipping through the pictures of him and Charlie, Charlie and Jo, him and…Dean. He knows that he shouldn’t put himself through the torture, but he can’t pull his eyes away. Oh, how he’d give anything to hear his voice again, to feel his chest rise and fall as they lay together and to smell that stale alcohol he wore like perfume.

Just then Cas’s phone vibrates loudly and his ringtone of ‘Let It Go’ starts playing (Charlie had changed it as soon as the film came out and Castiel hates to admit that the reason he hasn’t changed it is because he’s grown attached to the song)

Cas sits up in complete shock. Is this a joke? Has he misread the caller id? _Dean_ was calling him?!

Castiel fumbles his phone, his hands shaking like an earthquake had just hit. He presses the answer button and holds the phone to his ear, the phone gripped tight in his sweaty palms.

“Dean?” Cas couldn’t hide the confusion in his voice. Why would Dean be calling him - After all this time?

“Hey Cas,” Dean says on the other line. Dean was obviously putting on the happy tone but Cas didn’t say anything – he’s still in shock at the phone call. Before he can say anything else, a bubble of anger explodes inside his mind – the sound of Dean’s voice obviously bringing back forgotten memories.

“ _Hey?_ You leave me for like three months and all you have to say is hey?” Castiel almost shouts down the phone. There is only silence from the boy on the other side of the phone.

After a minute of nothing, Castiel swears he can hear faint sobbing. “Dean?” Castiel says in a soft voice.

“Cas…” Dean says through blatant tears, “I’m sorry Cas…I just…I didn’t mean to…” Dean tries to hold back vigorous sobs and fails.

“Shh, it’s ok Dean.” All anger is suddenly abandoned and is instead replaced with sadness that both boys feel. “Dean…” Castiel starts. This is a long shot, but it’s worth a try, “Dean where are you? please let me help you…just tell me where you are.”

x

 Castiel races down the highway, the radio turned down so that the only sound is the friction between the wheels and the gritty road. Dean had directed Cas to some run-down motel at the edge of Nebraska – it’s only a 3 hour journey, so Cas could probably make it there in two if he carries on speeding the way that he is. He doesn’t care about the speed limit, there are far greater worries floating in his mind – why did Dean call him? Why did he leave? _What has he been through?_ All these questions are enough to bring Castiel to tears and even he knows that it’s not a good situation to be driving so fast in, but he continues anyway.

Castiel pulls into the motel Dean said he was in and bursts into room 16 to see Dean sat in the corner of the room in the dark, his knees pulled up tight to his chest and his eyes clenched shut – his arms are clung round his head, protecting him from whoever he thinks is at the door.

“Dad please, I’m sorry!” Dean shouts. His voice breaks in terror and Castiel sinks to the ground next to him, holding him tight in his arms and sobbing into Dean’s shoulder.

“No Dean, it’s me Cas,” he says quietly into Dean’s ear. The crying stops from Dean as he holds his breath. Cas can feel every single muscle in dean’s body clenching as Dean looks up, tears still forming in his eyes.

“Cas,” he whispers, “you came.” Dean looks into Cas’s eyes, totally shocked that Cas is here infront of his eyes.

Castiel can’t help but let out a small laugh, “of course I’m here Dean. And I am _never_ letting you go again, you hear me,” Cas says and grips Dean tighter. “Come on Dean, let’s go home.”

Castiel stands up and only now does he take the time to look around the motel room. Dean’s duffel bag is on the floor, his belongings shoved messily into it. The only light is from the flickering lighbulb in the bathroom, where pieces of smashed mirror lay on the floor coated with dark blood. The sight almost brings Cas to tears _again_. He can’t and _won’t_ imagine Dean living here all on his own and what is it about his father that makes Dean so uncomfortable and afraid? Castiel didn’t want to stick around and find out – and he certainly didn’t want Dean to stay here any longer.

Castiel pulls Dean up to his feet and picks up his duffel bag.

Dean attempts to take it from Castiel, “Cas I can carry my own shit, ok.”

Castiel replies with a face that says _really?_ Dean takes that as his response and jumps into Cas’s (well, Cas’s mum’s) car.

Castiel dumps the duffel bag in the back seat of the car and climbs into the driver’s seat. He looks over at Dean who is fumbling around with his tangled fingers rested on his lap. Castiel places his hand on top of Dean’s and stares into Dean’s eyes. “Dean…I’m sorry.” Castiel says quietly. It’s only now that he notices all the bruises and cuts all over Dean’s face.

Dean lets out a gush of air – Cas would even go as far as to say it was half a laugh. “Cas you don’t have anything to be sorry for. It should be _me_ who’s apologising. I shouldn’t have left you like I did and I didn’t meet to hurt you honestly, I just…” he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He opens them again and continues, “I thought it would be easier if you hated me, so when I left you wouldn’t miss me. I couldn’t put you through that Cas, honestly. I just… oh man, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Castiel removes his hand from Dean’s lap and instead places it softly on Dean’s cheek – he can feel the bruising underneath and tries not to press down too hard. He wipes away a falling tear with his thumb and sighs. “Oh Dean,” he says softly. He looks down at Dean’s lips and quickly glances up again, locking his eyes with Dean’s. They both lean in and Cas feels the sharp intake of breath from Dean as they press their lips together, twisting their tongues with strong, needy motions as they hold each other in their arms, pulling the other into a warm embrace.

Cas doesn’t know how long they stayed like that, crawling over the front seats, clawing each other’s clothes off in the darkness of the motel car park. Before he knew it Dean was on top of him, naked and staring down into his dilating pupils.

“Are you…sure you want to…” Dean says. Castiel replies with a nod and with one swift movement Dean turns Castiel around and fills him up quickly, his sweating body bending over him as he thrusts back and forth, the moans escaping Cas like little sighs of relief. Dean slides his hands over the curve of Cas’s hips, smoothing out the imperfections and marking all the indentations as he sped up, faster and faster until Cas was clenching his fists in the material of the car seat, grinding his teeth and pressing his eyelids together as he moans harder. Castiel was almost screaming with delight and he bursts into a jet of heavy breaths, collapsing onto the seat with Dean on top of him; both panting messes.


	13. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starts in Cas's POV then changes to Dean's :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, look who updated on schedule! Woop! 
> 
> So yeah, here's chapter 13.
> 
> I could actually cry because of how well this is going, honestly I never thought I would get this far. I actually don't want to finish it :( but don;t worry, there's a LOT more to go.
> 
> Comments, kudos and messages are as always appreciated greatly - you guys are amazing and I love you all so much! 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Castiel lies across Dean, his arms and legs wrapped around him like a small child. He’s been lying like this for at least an hour, not wanting to disturb Dean who sleeps beneath him.

A sudden force builds up in the bridge of his nose and as hard as he tries, all efforts were useless; Castiel sneezes loudly, the force pushing him so that he sits upright, as Dean wakes up with a fright, his pupils big and black in pure shock.

“Jesus Christ on a stick Cas,” Dean laughs, clutching his heart and breathing heavily as if he were having a heart attack.

The reaction enough is enough to make Cas laugh and he bursts into a bubble of laughter, shortly followed by Dean. Castiel and Dean laugh loudly together, tears forming in the corners of their eyes.

Between laughs Cas begins to hiccup loudly and vigorously.

“Shit Dean now you’ve *hic* given me the *hic* hiccups.” Castiel says as sternly as he can without the small leaps his body does every time he hiccups taking away the seriousness in his tone.

Dean stares at Castiel with astonishment before giving him a small laugh and leaning forward, gripping Cas in a tight hug.

“Aw, you cutie,” Dean says in a mocking tone.

“I can assure you that my hiccups aren’t *hic* cute. And I certainly won't be cute when I shove my foot up your sorry ass” Castiel says, starting to get rather frustrated with the tiring gurgling in the back of his throat. “err,” Castiel moans loudly and pushes himself onto his back, putting his legs up in the air against the wall.

“Cas?” Dean says quietly.

“Hmm?” Castiel says, the blood beginning to go to his head as he lies upside-down on the bed.

“What…the hell…are you doing?” Dean says in a calm monotone voice.

Castiel would like to say that what he let out next was a laugh, but due to his…upside-down-ness it came out as more of a half-snort-half-gurgle which of course just made Dean laugh even more.

“Attractive Cas,” Dean says through a laugh.

Castiel pulls a screwed up facial expression and looks Dean straight in the eye, “You’re just jealous of my beauty,” he jokes.

Dean leans over Castiel’s face and presses his lips to Cas’s, trying to figure out how he’s actually managing to kiss Castiel upside-down without it going awfully tangled.

He pulls away and whispers, “I’m sorry Cas.” He lies down next to Cas, mirroring his position and turns his head so that he can look at him.

“For what Dean?” Castiel says. He honestly doesn’t know what he’s apologising for.

Dean lets out a breath of air through his nose as if to say that he didn’t believe Cas. “You’re honestly going to lie there and tell me you have no idea?” He says.

Castiel replies with a blank expression.

Dean lets out a sigh and mentally prepares himself for what he’s about to say. “Cas,” He starts. “I know you don’t want to believe that I left you…but I did and I’m sorry.” He looks at Cas, tears forming in his eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just…” He lets out a small sob. “I thought that if I was going to leave, it be better for you to hate me than be heartbroken, right?” He laughs slightly, but out of his own stupidity rather than happiness. “I guess that’s just another thing in my life I got wrong, eh?” A single tear rolls down his bruised cheek and dips into a deep cut on his face before falling onto Cas’s bed sheet beneath them. “ I really am sorry Cas. I just… I really like you, ok! And I didn’t want to ruin things and I fucked up, I can admit that, but I wanted to let you know.” He looks right into Castiel’s eyes and holds his hand softly. “I really like you Cas. Like _really_ like you and I’ve never felt like this to anyone before and I guess…” He removes his hand from Cas’s. “I guess I was scared.” He says quietly compared to the rest of his speech.

“Dean,” Castiel says trying to hold back the sobs forming in the back of his throat. “I know you had your reasons for leaving, it’s ok-”

“No!” Dean almost shouts. “It’s not ok Cas; I can’t even begin to imagine how that made you feel, what _I_ made you go through, it’s just plain wrong.” Dean interrupts.

“Dean you can’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in life!” Castiel responds at a similar volume to get his point across. He holds Dean’s head with both his hands and glares into his forest green eyes, wet with fresh tears. “I want to be with you Dean Winchester and I promise that no matter what happens I’ll be there for you, ok?”

Dean stares at Cas, his mouth gaped open.

“I said, _ok?_ ” He repeats. Dean gives him a small nod.

“You promise?” Dean says quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

“I promise,” Castiel says softly. “And I never break my promises,” he says, quoting Dean’s words.

Dean leaps forward, embracing Cas in a large hug – Cas can feel the desperation each time Dean pulls their bodies tighter together. He burrows his head into the dip between Dean’s head and shoulder and nuzzles softly, kissing his collarbone and beginning to cry softly.

“Shh,” Dean comforts, “It’s ok Cas, I got you.”

x

Dean knocks on the door, his palms sweaty and shaking. He hears the steps of one – no, two people? The pair walk down the stairs and to the door. Dean unconsciously holds his breath as the door opens.

Dean is met with a pair of sad eyes staring unbelievingly at him. “Dean?” His little brother whispers in shock.

“Hey Sammy,” Dean says, a genuine smile forming quickly on his face.

Before Dean can say anything else Sam lunges into a huge hug, gripping Dean tight in his arms. Dean can hear the tears flowing softly from Sam’s closed eyes as they hold each other.

“Sam?” A girl’s voice shouts from inside.

Dean separates himself from Sam, “Woah!” He says in shock. “Have you got…” he says hushed, “a _girl_ round?” He says, amazed at the fact that Sam brought a girl home.

“Shh,” Sam hushes Dean before shouting back to the girl. “Jess come here, I’ve got someone for you to meet.

“Jess?” Dean says. “As in, _Jess_ ”

Sam rolls his eyes, “yes Dean.” Something about Sam saying his name hit a nerve deep inside Dean. It’d been so long since he’d seen Sam, never mind talk to him and to find out that Sam was with a girl – well it was an early Christmas present for sure.

A young girl steps out the door way, her long wavy blonde hair flowing in a ponytail. She’s obviously still in her pyjamas – a pair of blue shorts and a long white shirt Dean assumes is Sam’s.

Dean takes this time to analyse his brother – he’s grown quite a lot; Dean would go as far as to say that he’s practically the same size as him now if not taller. Sam’s a lot more muscular than he remembers him being and is in desperate need of a haircut – _that_ Dean’s certain of.

“Hi,” Jess says.

“Hey,” Dean replies.

“Jess, this is my brother Dean,” he says, pointing to Dean with his hand.

Sudden realisation hits Jess, “Oh...  _oh!_ Dean, hey! I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Have you now,” he says smugly, looking at Sam. “Well nice to know that Sammy loves me so much,” he jokes, rustling Sam’s long brown hair.

“Jerk,” Sam says, pushing Dean slightly.

“Bitch,” he replies, laughing. Oh god how he’s missed this.

“O..k.” Jess says. “Let’s just pretend I know what that means and come inside – it’s freezing out here.”

x

“What happened to you Dean?” Sam asks quietly. The two of them are sat in the kitchen with mugs of coffee sat on the counter. “I mean, little over three months of nothing and yet… here you are covered in cuts and bruises and… where… where’s dad?”

Dean clears his throat and takes a sip of coffee. “I’ve been… out and about ya’know and dad? Not a clue – ran away as soon as I could - thanks to Cas.”

“Cas?” Sam says in confusion.

“Erm, yeah. Cas came and got me – god knows how he found me but I am sure as hell glad he did.” Dean says the last part laughing slightly – he still can’t believe how lucky he is to have someone like Cas in his life.

Sam opens his mouth to talk but is interrupted by Jess walking into the kitchen, fully dressed in a pair of light blue jeans and a tight black long sleeve t-shirt. (Which isn’t surprising as it’s now about 6pm) “I’m just going out for groceries, I’ll be back soon.” She says with a smile. She gives Sam a goodbye kiss and hurries out the front door, obviously feeling awkward in the current situation of brotherly reunion.

“So, Jess.” Dean says, changing the subject. “Are you two like, _dating_?” He asks.

Sam sighs heavily. He knows that no matter how hard he tries Dean will never talk to him about what happened. “Yeah. We have been for about two and a half months now. she kinda… helped me when you left, I guess.”

“Ah Sammy, how cute. Truly poetic, honestly.” He takes another large gulp of coffee. “But anyway, I have so many questions!”

Sam rolls his eyes.

“So, does she like live here?” Dean asks. "Please don't tell me you've replaced me already." 

“No Dean. You really think I would live with someone after two months of dating? And anyway I'm sixteen, why would a relationship be that serious this early on? ” Sam says sarcastically.

“Dude, she’s doing the _groceries._ I mean, _we_ don’t even do the groceries!” Dean says.

This of course results in another huge eye roll from Sam. “That’s why she does the groceries.” He laughs. “No, she just stays round… a lot… like practically all the time… yeah now that I say it out loud it kinda sounds like we’re living together.” He shrugs. Dean can only laugh.

Suddenly Dean feels his phone vibrate in his back pocket. The vibrations rattle the chair beneath him. 

“Is someone calling you or are you just incredibly happy to see me?” Sam mocks.

“Shut up ass-hat.” Dean says, getting out his mobile – Cas was calling. “I’ll be back in a moment,” Dean says walking out of the front door.

He faintly hears Sam’s reply, “It’s cool, you answer your boyfriend Jerk.”

Once he’s sure that he’s out of Sam’s hearing range he answers the call. “Cas hey!”

“Hello Dean… erm, I was wondering if...” Cas says.

“Castiel Novak I can _hear_ you blushing. Hurry up and get it out.” Dean can hear Charlie in the background telling Castiel to talk.

“I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner… with me… I mean, Sam and Jess can come too if they want,” Castiel says shyly.

Dean is shocked, “First of all, _Castiel Novak_ is asking me out on a date, what is this madness! And secondly, _you knew about Sam and Jess, why did you not tell me?!_ ”

“I don’t know, there seemed to be more important things on my mind like erm, maybe you?” Cas jokes.

Dean smiles, “I would love to go to dinner with you. I’ll go tell Sammy, be here in like an hour?”

“Of course Dean, I’ll see you then.” Castiel says and hangs up abruptly.

“Love you too,” Dean says sarcastically before putting his mobile back in the pocket of his jeans.

Jess pulls into the driveway just as Dean opens the front door.

He waves to her when she gets out of the car and helps her carry the brown paper bags full to the brim with different foods into the house.

“Dean, Jess, hey.” Sam says when the two of them step into the kitchen.

“So, any plans for tonight?” Jess says. “I could cook something if you’d like.”

“Well actually… I’m going out to dinner with Cas. He says you two can come too if you want.” Dean says, shrugging.

“We wouldn't want to interrupt your date,” Jess says. She can’t hide the fact that she thinks they make a super cute couple.

“Oh no, you’re coming whether you like it or not. Get ready losers, we’re going to dinner,” Dean says.

“Dude did you just quote mean girls.” Sam says judgingly.

“Erm, no.” Dean says rushing upstairs leaving Jess and Sam in the kitchen laughing.


	14. Late Lament

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering, the title comes from a poem written by Graeme Edge, the drummer of the moody blues. It is said in the song 'nights in white satin' :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hello again - another day another chapter. 
> 
> This one's a little bit shorter than usual - I didn't want to drag it on for too long, otherwise I think it would've just got boring, eh.
> 
> Comments, kudos and messages etc are again appreciated, just like always! 
> 
> Enjoy!

“Dean, you ready?” Sam calls from downstairs, fixing his tie as Jess flattens his collar from behind.

“Yeah I’m ready, calm down.” Dean shouts back, trudging down the stairs. When he sees Sam he pulls a disappointed face and looks down at Sam’s tie. “Cornflower blue, really?” Dean says.

“The fact that you know the exact colour is sad enough. Now stop insulting my fashion sense and hurry up.” Sam replies.

“You can’t insult something that doesn’t exist,” Dean mutters as he attempts to do up his red tie.

Dean looks up with a sad expression resulting in a round of laughter from Sam and Jess.

“Come here,” Jess says through a laugh. Dean shuffles towards Jess, embarrassed that he can’t even do up a tie.

Within a matter of seconds Jess has done up Dean’s tie and she looks right into his eyes. “It’s good to have you here Dean, you know. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sam happier, so…thanks…I guess.” She says and gives Dean a small smile, awkwardly patting Dean on the shoulder.

The doorbell rings as Dean checks his hair in the mirror and he walks over, masking his excitement with his ‘cool guy’ attitude – of course this only makes Jess and Sam snort with laughter.

Dean ignores them and opens the door. Castiel is stood awkwardly with a bouquet of red roses gripped tightly in his hands.  He gulps and begins to talk quietly, “Hello Dean.”

Dean smiles the biggest smile he must’ve smiled in months. Just having Cas near him was good enough, but now _dinner_? Well, Christmas has come early.

“Hey Cas,” Dean replies when he realises that he’s been staring at the eighteen year old for way too long – like, borderline creepy. “Erm, do you want to come in?”

“Sure,” Cas says, giving Dean a small smile as he walks into the house, closing the door behind him. “Oh, these are for you… I guess.” Cas says, shrugging and handing Dean the roses.

“Thanks Cas,” Dean takes the roses and gives Cas a small kiss on the cheek. Cas’s cheeks blush a deep pink colour and he looks down at the ground in embarrassment.

Dean steps into the kitchen and finds a random glass vase to place the flowers in. he puts the full vase on the coffee table in the lounge and drags Cas into the kitchen by his hand. “Come on Cas, you look like the most awkward person in the world.”

“Sorry,” Cas says quietly. He looks down at the floor once again, fussing with the end of his shirt sleeves.

“Hey,” Dean lifts Cas’s chin up with his index finger so that their eyes lock automatically. “You don’t need to be sorry Cas,” Dean gulps and quickly presses his lips against Cas’s. It takes a moment for Cas’s shock to leave his body, but then he returns Dean’s kiss, pushing Dean against the cold wall, grabbing his head with both hands and gripping his hair tightly in his fingers as he impaled Dean’s throat with his yearning tongue, exploring every inch of his mouth. _Woah_ Dean couldn’t help but think - Cas had never kissed him like this before.

Sam coughs loudly from in the kitchen. Castiel pulls himself away from Dean and stands awkwardly, looking in shock at Sam and Jess who are leaning in the archway leading into the kitchen.

“You two lovebirds ready to go or do you want to take this upstairs?” Sam says, trying to hide his laughter at Castiel’s expression.

“As tempting as that sounds, I’m guessing that was a rhetorical question.” Dean replies, giving Cas a subtle wink.

Sam rolls his eyes with a sigh and steps out of the front door, shortly followed by Jess who tries her best not to trip over in her high heels – she’s now only slightly shorter than Sam.

Dean gives Cas a smile and begins to walk out the door, pulling Cas behind him by his hand, their fingers tangling together as they walk.

x

“So Cas, why on earth did you go for Dean? I mean look at him,” Sam says, pulling a disgusted face at Dean.

“Hey!” Dean says, punching Sam lightly on the arm. “Why wouldn’t he, I’m awesome!”

Jess, Sam and Cas all laugh. “If you say so Dean,” Sam replies.

“Come on, can we at least get Cas’s view on this?” Dean says in his defence.

“Ok then… So Cas, why do you?” Sam asks.

“It’s a mystery to me, honestly. I must be crazy.” Cas replies. Sam and Jess laugh but Dean pulls a face like an annoyed child, crossing his arms and pouting out his bottom lip.

“You are the worst boyfriend.” Dean jokes.

“Boyfriend? I guess now would be a good time to tell you the truth…” Cas says seriously.

“Cas, what do you mean?” Dean says, noticing the serious change of subject. Silence falls upon the group as Cas takes a deep breath in and talks, “Dean…I need to admit something to you.”

Dean nods, telling him to continue.

“Dean… I was born a woman. I’m more of a girlfriend than a boyfriend.”

Jess and Sam howl with laughter and Dean just sniggers.

“Funny Cas,” Dean says, throwing a napkin at him and joining the others in laughing.

Sam looks down at his watch and looks shocked at the time. Half eleven already? Wow, how time flies.

“Well on that note, we best go – it’s getting late.” Sam says.

x

Castiel and Dean sit on the couch in Dean’s lounge, their arms wrapped around each other as they cuddle in the dark, the only light coming from the TV turned on in front of them. Sam and Jess (no surprise) had said that they’d stay at Jess’s for the night to give Cas and Dean some quote “well deserved time alone” so Dean had put on his favourite star wars movie, although the two of them are both practically asleep half an hour in.

“Cas?” Dean whispers, looking at the possibly sleeping boy resting in his arms.

“Hmm,” Cas replies, suggesting that he’s awake…slightly. The response for some reason makes Dean giggle quietly to himself, little shots of air whooshing from his nose every time his chest rises and falls as he laughs silently.

“What on earth could be that funny this late in the night?” Castiel mumbles, his eyes still closes as he buries his head into Dean’s arms, nuzzling his chest.

“Nothing,” Dean says quietly, taking this time to admire how beautiful Cas is, even in the dark.

“Dean…” Castiel says after clearing his throat. He looks up, staring at Dean with a lost expression on his face.

“Cas, what’s up?” Dean says, worried.

Cas lets out a small laugh, “nothing too serious I promise. It’s just…” He takes a deep and heavy breath. “Back at the restaurant… you said I was your boyfriend.”

Dean suddenly realises what he said, “oh shit Cas sorry, I didn’t realise that you didn’t…” Dean pulls his arms away from Cas, separating the two of them.

“No, no! Dean that’s not what I mean, of course I do!” Cas’s statement leaves Dean even more confused. “I just didn’t know we were… you know.” Cas gives a weird hand gesture, waving his hands between the two of them.

“You mean because I never asked you to be?” Dean asks. “Sorry,” Dean says, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I didn’t think I had to.” He shrugs.  

“It’s fine Dean… I guess I’m just being…paranoid or something I don’t know.” Cas says quietly.

“Cas no it’s my fault, honestly. I shouldn’t have said it, I wasn’t thinking that’s all.” Dean says.

After a moment of silence Cas gives Dean a small smile and returns to his former place, wrapped in Dean’s arms.

“I love you Cas,” Dean says after about ten minutes of silence.

He looks down at Cas to see the boy asleep, his arm clinging loosely to Dean, his hand gripping the t-shirt Dean is wearing.

“Typical,” Dean laughs. He places a small kiss on Cas’ forehead and adjusts his position carefully, trying not to wake Cas, so that the two of them are lying side by side on the couch.

Dean turns off the TV and closes his eyes, finishing what seemed to be one of the best days of his life.

x

Castiel wakes up cold and tired. He flings his arm around him, trying to find Dean who he’s sure was asleep next to him a couple of hours ago. He opens his eyes to see that he’s alone in the room, the beams of sunlight blinding him as they gleam through the dusty window beside him.

“Dean?” Cas calls as loud as his dry throat will allow him to – no answer.

He rubs his eyes and if he listens carefully can hear the sound of running water – Dean must be in the shower.

The smell of freshly cooked food only hits Cas when his stomach growls loudly. He looks down at the coffee table to see a sandwich placed neatly on it. Cas smiles widely – he never expected Dean to be the domestic type. On top of the sandwich is a piece of lined paper, the words _open me_ written across it roughly in Dean’s handwriting.

For some reason, Cas follows the instructions and lifts up the top slice of white bread and gasps in shock – slices of bacon have been placed on top of each other and cut out to create the shape of a love heart and above it in black food colouring spells the words _Cas, be my boyfriend?_

Castiel has never not wanted to eat a sandwich more in his life.

“It’s super cheesy, I know.” Dean says from behind Cas.

Cas looks back in shock to see Dean stood at the bottom of the stairs wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a loose long sleeved grey top, his hair dripping wet on top of his head.

Before he knows what he’s doing Cas jumps off the couch and runs over to Dean, throwing his arms around the boy’s neck and kissing him passionately.

“Oh Dean,” he murmurs into Dean’s mouth – Dean ‘hmm’s’ in appreciation.

Castiel hadn't even noticed the music playing in the background until now - 'nights in white satin' by The Moody Blues is serenading softly from the kitchen. 

Dean wraps his arms around Cas's waist, Castiel's arms still placed around Dean's neck. 

"Dean, I don't-" Cas attempts to say, before being hushed by Dean's singing voice. 

Dean sings as in tune as he can along to the music, quietly singing the words into Cas's ear - "Beauty I've always missed, with these eyes before"

Cas and Dean begin to sway softly as Dean continues, "just what the truth is, I can't say anymore" 

Castiel only now realises how truly beautiful the lyrics are. 

"'Cos I love you, yes I love you. Oh how I love you" Dean sings, kissing Cas just below his ear and nuzzling his neck, pulling Castiel tightly into a warm embrace. 

Dean pulls his head away from Cas and looks deep into Cas's lagoon shaded eyes. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.” Dean says and he leads Cas upstairs, their fingers intertwining as they hold hands.

Castiel honestly can’t believe how lucky he is.


	15. Everything's Better With A Slice Of Pie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to say I have a reason for why this took so long to write, but I would be lying - It took me ages to write this chapter and I have no idea why, so if it sucks I apologise greatly. 
> 
> Thanks for all the kudos, comments and messages, you're all my favourite people. 
> 
> Stay awesome! <3

“Oh come on Ellen, just one more” Dean shouts over the music blasting from the jukebox across the room.

“I think you’ve had one too many,” Ellen laughs as she dries a soaking wet pint glass with a tea towel.

“But it’s a _celebration_ ,” Dean says obviously, swinging back and forth of the bar stool.

Ellen rolls her eyes and shakes her head.

“A celebration of what exactly?” Jo shouts, popping he head round a corner behind the bar.

“Durr, my arrival back home. Obviously!” Dean says rolling his eyes.

Sam breaks away from a long kiss with Jess to reply to the comment. “Dude you’ve been back like a month and _now_ you decide to celebrate?” He laughs.

“Oh come on Sam,” Jess starts, “I’m sure he’s done plenty of celebrating with Cas,” she raises her eyebrows as winks subtly at Dean.

“I…er…” Dean attempts to stand up and bumps into the bar counter, falling and tripping over the bar stools earning him a hoot of laughter from his crowd.

“You shut your piehole,” he says through gritted teeth, pointing at Jess who can only laugh back.

Bobby walks out from a room behind the bar and ruffles Dean’s hair with his hand. “Well it’s good to have you back son.”

Dean gives Bobby a small and meaningful smile. “Thanks Bobby.” He says quietly – he’s not even sure Bobby heard it over the loud music, but hey it’s the thought that counts, right?

Ellen places a half-full bottle of beer on the counter and slides it over to Dean who just about catches it before it crashes to the ground dramatically.

Dean looks up at Ellen in confusion.

“Just one more,” she says holding up one finger in case he can’t hear her.

“You’re the best Ellen.” Dean says before taking a swig.

The door of the roadhouse swings open and a very out of place Castiel steps in, fiddling with the end of the sleeves of his long black t-shirt.

“Ay, it’s my favourite featherass Castiel Novak!” Dean shouts with a huge smile on his face.

Cas can’t help but smile – something about the way his name rolls off Dean’s tongue like that sends shivers down his spine.

“Your favourite? Is there some featherass competition I should know about?” Cas laughs, shouting back as he walks over.

“Oh don’t worry baby you’re winning all the way,” Dean winks and takes another swig of beer.

“I think Ellen may have given you a little more than you can physically and psychologically handle.” Cas says in an effort to distract Dean and everyone else in the bar away from the awkward blush forming on his face.

Castiel looks around the roadhouse – Sam and Jess are currently in the middle of doing something defiantly not PG rated in the corner of the bar, Jo is in the back, just in plain sight at a certain angle, Bobby and Ellen are behind the bar mixing some sort of beverage whilst some random stranger picks out a song on the jukebox before returning to the other side of the bar to be reunited with a group of very intimidating young men he assumes are the man’s friends. A few other guys Cas recognises from school are sat across from them and it doesn’t take long for them to notice Cas with his group of friends.

One of the guys (Cas remembers his name being Alastair) downs what’s left of his drink and without breaking eye contact with Cas stands up and calls his friends. They walk towards Castiel and Dean, their eyes locked together.

The group of around 6 sweating bodies swagger past the two boys, the scent of alcohol and must diffusing through the air towards Cas – he wasn’t intending to get into any sort of fight with the walking masses of testosterone any time soon.

The boys drift past Cas and Dean, silence filling the void between the two groups.

Cas thinks that he’s in the clear and is about the breath a heavy sigh of relief before Alastair walks past.

He stops and looks at Dean from head to toe twice and sniggers. “I knew you fags couldn’t handle your drinks,” he mutters, scoffing. His group of friends snigger along to the comment.

“It’s a shame you can’t manage many things, you know _urges_ and such,” he whispers for effect.

Dean flexes his jaw and grips the beer bottle tightly in his hand, the palm of his hand gleaming a pale white colour with tension.

“Yo dude don’t stare at him too long, he might get a crush on you,” one of the boys says resulting in a round of laughter.

“He’s right, ya’know,” Alastair agrees. “We know you can’t control these things.” He shrugs in fake empathy.

“Yeah, how about I control my fist against your jaw you son of a- ”Dean stands up dramatically and grabs Alastair by the collar of his leather jacket before being interrupted by Cas. He calmly places a hand on Dean’s shoulder and slowly brings Dean’s fist away from Alastair’s face.

“He’s not worth it,” Cas whispers but Dean continues to stare into Alastair’s eyes, his pupils black and wide with pure anger, lit with the light of a thousand raging fires.

Slowly Dean releases his grip on Alastair and steps two paces backwards away from him, holding his hands up in defence and shrugging.

“I think you boys should leave,” Ellen suddenly appears out of nowhere and leads the group of boys including Alastair out of the roadhouse.

“Sorry about that guys,” she apologises on their behalf.

“It’s nothing to be sorry for,” Cas says – it’s obvious that this isn’t the first time this has happened.

“Hey, come on now.” Ellen brings Cas and Dean into a tight hug and kisses both of them on the cheek one after another. “Ain’t nobody gonna hurt my baby boys, alright? And if anybody does, you know where to find me.” She gives the two of them a sympathetic smile and heads back behind the bar to serve a customer.

Dean closes his eyes and downs the rest of his beer in seconds. When he opens them again his pupils are large and rounded, the smile forming once again on his face when he spots Cas still sat in front of him.

“Come on Cas, they’re just a group of dicks, ignore them.” Dean rubs his hand up and down Cas’s arm in comfort.

Cas gives Dean a small smile. He can’t control the giggles bubbling out whenever he observes Dean’s drunken movements.

Dean leans forward to kiss Cas but completely misjudges the space between them and falls straight onto the floor, face planting the cold wood floor of the roadhouse.

After a small bubble of laughter Cas crouches down to help Dean up. He plants himself under Dean, placing Dean’s arm over his shoulders and carrying him up onto his feet.

Dean looks into Cas’s eyes, down to his lips then back up to his blue eyes.

“I love you Castiel,” Dean slurs.

Cas lets out a small breath of air out of his nose that slightly mimicked a laugh.

“I bet you do,” he jokes.

“I do Cas. I really, really-oh” Dean trips over his own feet and falls again, but Cas catches him just before he hits the floor again.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Cas smiles and begins to walk to the door.

“Hey Sam, Jess, Jo, I’m gonna take Dean home if that’s cool.”

The three exchange a look Castiel is sure has something to do with the fact that he’s going back with Dean, but he disregards it and rolls his eyes before saying goodbye and planting Dean in the passenger seat of the impala.

“I hope you don’t mind me driving; I walked here and I know how much you would hate to leave this car in the car park.” Cas says. He turns to Dean when he gets no reply to see him fast asleep – or more, passed out on the seat, his head resting comfortably on the window covered by his muscly arms.

Cas rolls his eyes and tuts slightly. He kisses Dean lightly on the forehead – just enough so that he doesn’t wake him and starts the engine, pulling out of the roadhouse car park.

x

Dean wakes up to darkness in his living room. He’s sure that it was still light when he was at the roadhouse and…well he can’t really remember what happened next, or more importantly how he got home. He can hear subtle Kansas music playing in the dining room and stands up, rubbing his eyes and groaning at the cracks his body makes when he stretches his limbs. He limps over to the dining room, not really understanding why he has a sudden pain in his leg and still tired and _incredibly_ hung-over.

He opens the door to the dining room to see Cas setting up a table with clean cream plates, cutlery and candlesticks. Cas lights the candles in the middle of the table and turns around, jumping in fright when he sees Dean standing in the doorway.

“Dean, hey. I wasn’t expecting you to be up for a while.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at the ground, blushing with embarrassment.

Dean laughs at Cas’s reaction and steps towards him, grabbing Castiel by the waist and pulling him into a deep and long kiss.

Fear suddenly hits Cas’s face and he pulls away, running into the kitchen shouting about something to do with pie.

Castiel leans his head out of the doorway into the kitchen. “Dean you can sit down if you want, I’ll just be a minute.” He says giving Dean a small smile before disappearing just as quickly as he appeared.

 _What the hell is going on?_ Dean thinks to himself as he takes a seat with a plate set up in front of it.

After about five or ten minutes of various crashing sounds and swearing being heard from the kitchen, Castiel enters the dining room, sweaty and obviously tired, carrying a large bowl of a sort of spaghetti dish. He places it down on the table and sits down on the chair opposite to Dean before sighing.

Castiel and Dean look at each other with equal amounts of confusion.

“What?” Cas asks, wondering what he did wrong.

“Cas…” Dean starts. “What… what the hell is this?” He continues, showing Cas what ‘this’ is with a hand gesture, pointing to the food on the table.

“Oh… _oh._ I forgot to tell you…erm, yeah…” Castiel begins to blush again. “I thought it would be nice to go out for dinner, but then I knew that you probably wouldn’t want to go out and you’re tired and stuff, so I was like ‘why don’t I just make you dinner’ and then you came in and the pie and…yeah.” Castiel realises that he’s rambling and stops, gulping as he attempts to hide the embarrassment pouring out of him.

“Well then…” Dean starts. Castiel looks at him and Dean assures the boy with a small smile and a wink. “Let’s get tucked in!” He says and grabs his fork, twirling the spaghetti and planting it in his mouth, moaning with the explosion of flavours bubbling in his mouth.

x

“You know, I’m sure I heard you mention pie earlier,” Dean says after the two of them had finished their meal.

Cas scoffs, “I knew you wouldn’t forget.” He stands up and grabs all the dishes on the table, carrying them into the kitchen.

When he returns, he is holding the hugest pie Dean has ever seen in his life. Dean’s pupils dilate and his mouth starts to moisten just at the sight of it.

“Cas,”Dean says, his voice barely a whisper as he stares in awe of this masterpiece.

Castiel smirks and places the pie on the table, whipping out a sharp knife and cutting a huge piece out. He places it on a small plate and slides it over to Dean.

It takes less than 3 seconds for Dean to slip the first piece of pie into his mouth. He moans almost orgasmically and mumbles something that roughly resembled the words ‘pecan, my favourite’.

After Dean and Cas have demolished the pie, Castiel clears up and Dean sits in the chair, obviously regretting eating so much pie – well, Cas guesses from the moans of pain Dean exhales every now and again.

“Dean, will you turn the lights on for me, the candles are pretty much all out.” Cas asks as he clears up the rest of the things on the table.

“Sure thing,” Dean says as he flicks the light switch – no lights turn on.

Dean flicks the light switch a total of seven times up and down and not once did the light turn on.

“Erm, Cas,” Dean says. “The light…isn't doing the thing.” He finishes with a weird hand gesture. 

Castiel laughs at Dean’s way of putting it, but attempts to turn the light on. He pulls a confused expression when the room continues to stay in darkness, the only light coming from the candles in the middle of the room.

Castiel attempts to turn on every electrical device he can find, but nothing.

Finally, the two realise. – “A power cut; you’ve got to be freaking kidding me.” Dean says, deflated, throwing himself onto the couch as the last of the candles flickers out, leaving the pair in total darkness.


	16. He's Beauty, He's Grace, He's Mr United States

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayy, after god knows how long I've finally updated! 
> 
> It's not like I didn't try - I just had 0 ideas. I honestly tried to write like every night and it just wasn't happening. 
> 
> Oh well, this chapter is finished now, so enjoy!

“This has got to be a joke.” Dean says before slouching back into the couch and sulking.

Castiel laughs at what he can see of Dean’s reaction through the sheet of black surrounding them.

“Quit moaning,” Cas jokes, sniggering as he turns on the torch app on his mobile.

“Dude, my eyes?” Dean shields his eyes from the bright light Cas is unconsciously directing at him.

“Oh, sorry.” Cas says and moves the light away from Dean. He steps into the kitchen and opens one of the draws. He rummages through it, aided by the small beam of light and pulls out a few candles and matches.

“Where’s the light? I can’t see a goddamn thing,” Dean calls from the other room.

“Honestly, I just can’t win with you can I?” Cas shouts back. He steps back in the living room and sets up the candles, lighting them one by one to create a dim glow that covers the room.

Dean sulks on the couch and huffs “what _exactly_ are we going to do until the power comes back on? _If_ the power comes back on.”

Castiel shrugs his shoulders before being struck with an idea.

“Where the hell are you going now?” Dean shouts after Cas who is running down the unlit hallway and upstairs.

“I knew you’d have it somewhere,” Cas exclaims, panting from running through the dark house.

“What?” Dean turns around and holds up a candle in an attempt to see clearer what Castiel is shaking in front of him.

Castiel rattles the boxes with a huge, smug grin on his face.

“Oh no,” Dean states, “you have got to be kidding me.”

x

Castiel takes the time to notice the concentration on Dean’s face – his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth and his eyes squinted.

“Come on Dean you can do this,” he says to himself, licking his lips that have become dry due to the unnecessary pressure he feels.

Dean pulls out the small wood block carefully before the whole structure comes tumbling down.

Cas throws his arms in the air and shouts, “JENGA!” with a huge grin planted on his face at both his sudden victory and the look of disappointment on Dean’s face.

“Oh come on, best of three.” Dean pleads.

Castiel opens his mouth to answer but is interrupted by the buzz of electricity as the power switches on suddenly.

The lights above the two shine down on all the board games they’ve played during their time in the darkness – cluedo pieces are scattered around the floor, monopoly money torn apart in Dean’s fit of rage lay in the fireplace; Castiel had just about managed to calm Dean down and stop him from burning the papers.

“Oh, well that’s over then.” Dean states matter-of-factly.

Cas scoffs slightly as he begins to clean up the mess they made.

He takes a sharp intake of breath as he senses Dean grab onto his waist from behind, nuzzling his head into Castiel’s cold neck.

“Trust the national grid to cut our date short,” he mumbles into Cas’s ear.

Castiel sighs, “yeah, and to cut our power along with it.”

He can feel Dean smile on his neck as his slight stubble grazes across his tanned skin.

Dean begins to press his lips onto Castiel’s skin, biting and sucking down on his lover’s neck, breaking the silence with Cas’s small moans. Castiel grips Dean’s hair tight in his hands, tangling the stands of hair in-between his fingers.

The two of them miss the loud sound of the door closing.

“Well hello you two love birds,” Jess laughs, the sudden talking shaking Dean slightly and he pulls away from Cas, his face red with embarrassment.

The two look behind them to see Jess wrapped in Sam’s jacket (and arms) leaning against the doorframe, grins on both of their faces.

“So, you two get up to anything…interesting?” Sam says, looking around the floor of the lounge.

“I don’t even have to look at you to sense the sarcasm, bitch.” Dean says and throws the nearest pillow at Sam, catching him off guard as the pillow hits him straight in the face. When the pillow falls into his hands to reveal a signature bitchface he throws it even harder back at Dean shouting, “You jerk!” The pillow misses Dean completely and knocks over a vase, the delicate pot falling to the floor and crashing dramatically.

Dean and Sam look straight into each other’s eyes in pure shock, neither one of them wanting to look at the damage.

Out of the blue Sam starts to laugh, forcing Dean to release a small giggle.

Within seconds the four of them are in tears laughing. Jess and Castiel begin to clean up the mess their boyfriends have created.

“Honestly Sammy your aim is worse that it was when you were ten and I’m not even sure how that’s possible.” Dean laughs, helping Jess and Cas to sweep up the broken pieces of what was a vase.

“Oh really?” Sam says sarcastically and reaches for a second pillow.

“Woah!” Jess runs to Sam and grabs the pillow out of his grip. “We will have no more of that thank you very much.”

Sam goes to say something but Jess’s expression on her face made it very clear that she was not to be messed with, so Sam shut his agape mouth and began to help clean up, putting the broken pieces into a bin liner and taking it out the trash can outside.

Once the room was practically spotless the four of them relax on the sofa, admiring their cleaning skills.

Dean turns to Cas and says, “dearest Castiel,” Cas’s eyebrows raise as he mentally prepares himself for the rest of this sentence. “Have I ever introduced you to the wonderful world of Marvel?” He asks.

“The world of what?” Cas asks, confused – he’s not even sure that’s a real word.

“Oh god here we go,” Sam rolls his eyes and sighs heavily.

Dean hushes him and stands up. “I’ll be back in a second.” He says, walking down the hallway to god knows where.

“You are in for a whole world of pain my friend.” Sam says to Cas, his face full of sorrow and pity.

Dean steps back into the lounge, places a dvd in the tv and turns of the lights.

“Let’s do this!” He shouts, creating a bubble of laughter to emerge from his fellow housemates.

The red Marvel opening plays and Castiel can feel Dean’s heart rate increase from beneath his as he lays his head on Dean’s chest whilst Sam and Jess very obviously make out next to them.

x

“I mean just look at the shape of his-” Dean starts before being interrupted by Cas pressing his hand against Dean’s mouth.

“Stop right there Mr Winchester,” Cas says, winking at Dean.

Sam and Jess can’t help but laugh at Dean’s reaction. “I think you’ve got some competition Cas,” Sam laughs, pointing his head towards the man on the tv.

Castiel removes his hand from Dean’s mouth and looks back to the tv screen.

“I don’t really understand why you like him so much anyway. _No one_ can move that fast in lycra.” Cas says.

Dean scoffs, “ _dude,_ he’s Captain America, if anyone can move that fast it’s him.”

Castiel raises an eyebrow. “Defending your boyfriend are you?”

Dean hides his face behind his hands as his cheeks burn crimson. “If you’ve got a problem with my love for Mr United States we are gonna have an issue,” Dean jokes, whispering to Castiel only a few inches away from his face.

Castiel closes the small gap between the two and pecks Dean lightly on the lips. “Jesus, I can’t believe there was a time I thought you were straight. How on God’s earth did you manage to keep all that gay concealed?”

Dean throws his head back in laughter, “As a strong woman once told me, _conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know_.” He sings slightly, grasping the air as if he was in a cheesy 90’s Pop Ballard music video.

“Alright, that’s enough of that.” Castiel laughs, pulling Dean’s hand down from mid-air and placing it on his knee.

“Okie dokie,” Dean says with a smile, grasping Castiel in a spontaneous tight hug and nuzzling his nose deep into Cas’s warm sweater.

“You are such a softy,” Castiel says quietly. He leans back and lies down on the sofa. Dean hums in appreciation and lies down next to him, snuggling up to Cas as closely as physically possible without being completely on top on him. Dean closes his eyes and traces small circles on Cas’s chest where his head lies.

“But hey, what can I say – I’ve got an obsession.” Dean says, shrugging.

Castiel sighs. Does he want to ask? “With what exactly?”

Dean smiles before answering, “with big hulky men.” He winks at Cas.

“Well I’m afraid you’re in the wrong department for that. The most you’re getting out of this,” he runs his hands down his body to demonstrate that he’s talking about himself , “is a few sarcastic comments and discounts on coffee.”

“Well,” Dean smirks, “you’ve gotta start somewhere, eh? And if it makes any difference I’d take you and your coffee discounts over a big sexy superhero any day.”  

“A bad decision if you ask me,” Castiel mumbles to himself.

“Shut up Cas I’m giving you a compliment – take it and _accept_ it, whether you like it or not I _actually_ think you’re great.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and tuts slightly – god, he was becoming just like Charlie. “I thought this was your favourite film, are you _actually_ going to watch it?” Castiel says, but instead of a response he is given a sequence of quiet snores as a sleeping Dean relaxes next to him.

Castiel places a small kiss on Dean’s forehead and looks over the room to see Jess and Sam smiling at him.

“So cute,” Jess whispers.

Castiel laughs and rolls his eyes both at the same time.


	17. Baby, It's Cold Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapter yay!  
> As you can probably guess, I have nothing better to do on Christmas than write fan fiction, so here is my present to you all.  
> It's also a bit shorter than most chapters, but come on it's Christmas.  
> Enjoy! :)

“It’s not funny Charlie!” Castiel moans as he light-heartedly slaps Charlie on the leg who is almost wetting herself with laughter.

“Lighten up Cas,” Charlie says in between laughs, wiping a single tear away from her eye.

Castiel is sat on the floor a few inches away from Charlie, sulking and covered head to toe in wrapping paper and tape.

“Charlie seriously help me wrap this, Dean is going to be here any minute.” Castiel says as he attempts to wrap the gift up with a piece of ribbon which is obviously too short.

Charlie huffs and swiftly wraps up the present, topping it with a shining silver bow and ribbon to match the matt black wrapping paper.

“Ta Da” she says, presenting the box to Castiel, “and don’t you even think about taking the credit for those awesome wrapping skills.”

Castiel laughs and gives Charlie a small hug, thanking her. “Come on, we don’t want Dean to be waiting too long.”

 

Charlie, once again using her amazing fashion sense picks out a navy suit jacket and matching outfit for Cas, throwing it at him from inside the closet as he rushes to get undressed. She pulls something out for herself and quickly changes, pulling the sparkling black dress over her ginger locks and stepping into some black heels.

“What do you think?” Charlie says, spinning around slowly to show off her dress – it’s black all over with shimmering gold gems on that glisten under the artificial light of the lamp in the corner of the room.

“You look beautiful Charlie,” Castiel says, admiring the grace off his best friend.

“I know,” she shrugs, “and I can say the same for you Mr Handsome, Dean is going to _love_ this outfit,” Castiel smiles at the response. “Although, not as much as he’d like it on his bedroom floor,” she mumbles doing up his tie.

Castiel rolls his eyes just before there’s knocking at the door.

“Let’s do this,” Charlie practically shouts punching Cas on the arm and running downstairs to answer the door.

 

Castiel takes his time walking down the stairs and when he arrives at the bottom Dean is stood in the doorway, smiling at him as he runs his eyes up and down Castiel’s body.

“Your carriage awaits,” Charlie pops her head around the corner and nods her head towards the newly-washed impala parked on the drive, gleaming under the white moonlight.

x

Castiel holds out a cracker to Dean, holding one end in his own hand.

“Oh you’re on,” Dean says accepting the challenge and grasping the other side of the cracker.

They both pull as hard as they can, breaking the laughter and clinking of glasses with a large BANG as the cracker explodes, leaving Dean with the larger end.

“I let you win,” Castiel says, raising his eyebrows at Dean, “I mean, we can’t both have the bigger cracker can we?” he continues.

Dean opens his mouth in horror, “Then I should give you this bigger half, _you’re_ the one who needs to compensate.”

“You are so rude Dean Winchester,” Jo punches Dean hard on the arm causing his to wince in pain.

“Just open the goddamn cracker and tell the joke, ok?” Jo says staring at Dean. Cas forgets how scary she can be sometimes, but she quickly laughs and turns back to Charlie.

“So come on, what’s the joke?” Castiel asks, playfully nudging Dean’s shoulder.

Dean sighs and uncrinkles the small piece of paper inside the cracker. “Who is Santa Claus married to?” He turns to Cas.

“Well I should hope Mrs Claus.” Castiel replies. 

Dean slams his head against the table, “It’s a joke Cas the answer is never logical.”

“Well what _is_ the answer then?” Castiel asks.

“Mary Christmas.” He says quickly and quietly.

“I’m sorry what was that?” Castiel jokes, cuping his ear to signal that he didn’t hear.

“Mary Christmas.” Dean says again, this time slightly louder.

“Sorry?”

“MARY CHRISTMAS!”Dean shouts laughing.

“Afraid I’m not Mary Christmas, but Ellen as usual,” Ellen says as she walks past Dean from the kitchen, “however I bring turkey so I’m sure you will forgive me,”

Ellen winks placing the turkey down on the table in front of Dean.

Dean grabs a few slices and places them on his plate as quickly as he possibly can, earning him a few laughs from the rest of the table.

“War’s over Dean, there’s no rations anymore,” Sam laughs, his arm still hung around Jess’s waist.

“Sammy what are you on about?” Dean says, clueless.

Sam rolls his eyes, “you don’t to rush to get food Dean, there’s plenty of it.” He explains like he’s taking to a child.

“Bitch,” Dean mutters.

“Jerk,” Sam replies swiftly.

“Language boys,” Bobby warns, throwing a spoon at both brothers.

x

Dean and Castiel sit by the roaring fire, the baubles on the tree twinkling like tiny stars. Castiel pulls out the ribbon tied box from under the tree and places it on Dean’s lap, smiling as his boyfriend carefully removes the bow.

“Cas there’s no way you wrapped this,” Dean says, raising an eyebrow.

Castiel pretends to be offended, “how could you say that...but yeah, Charlie helped me…just a bit though.” Dean winks at Castiel and begins to open the gift.

“Cas, it’s just what I wanted,” Dean says in shock as he removes the paper and pulls out a small wooden box.

“Dean, do you even know what it is?” Castiel questions his enthusiasm.

“Well…no,” Dean says, flipping the box in all directions in his hands to figure out what it actually is, “but I’m sure I’ll love whatever it is,” he smiles.

Castiel rolls his eyes, “come here,” he takes the box from Dean and opens it-a small wooden impala sits in the middle of the box and the faint sound of chimes ringing. The music box plays the tune and Dean looks up at Castiel.

“Cas, it’s awful beautiful but…a music box?” Dean questions.

“Listen to the song Dean,” Castiel says.

Dean stays silent for a few seconds, listening carefully to the tune playing. “Is this…is this Led Zeppelin?”  

Castiel smiles, glad that Dean recognises the song.

“Where did you get this and there’s even baby,” he says pointing to the wooden impala in side.

Castiel shrugs, “I know some people who know some people what can I say.”

“You are amazing Castiel Novak,” Dean says, placing the wooden box on the floor and leaning over to place his lips on Cas’s, the twinkling of the music box playing softly in the background beneath the sound of the raging fire.

x

Castiel wakes from the night alone on the couch, the smoke from the fire that went out hours ago still rolling up the chimney like dark clouds. He stretches his arms with a groan and stands up from the couch, dragging himself up the stairs. He quietens his steps when he hears the soft sound of a music box coming from Dean’s bedroom.

He creaks up the stairs and glides across the landing, spying at Dean through the small crack of the open door. Dean is sat on the floor, staring at the music box as it plays, quietly singing along and rocking back and forth.

_“And she’s buying a stairway to heaven.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanted to listen to a music box version of Stairway To Heaven, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kiv_Ag4FKbI


	18. Who's That Tapping At The Window?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter to get back into the feel of it, enjoy :)

*tap* *tap*

Castiel pries open a single eye and looks around his dark room. He checks the time – 01:32am. What on earth could be that sound?

*tap *tap*

_It’s probably just a tree branch on the window or something,_ Cas thinks to himself. it was more of a mental hope than anything. He closed his eyes and tries his best to get back to sleep.

*tap* *tap* *CRASH*

Castiel bolts upright as fast as the speed of light as his eyes dart across to the window. The top glass panel is smashed, shattered into tiny mirror pieces scattered across the floor.

“What the-!” Castiel shouts, stumbling out of bed and pulling up the window leaning his naked torso out into the icy night.

 Beneath him, Dean staggers around the drive, a half empty bottle of jack in his left hand, the right hand frolicking around left, right and centre. “Hey babe, what’s hanging!” He shouts up with a smile on his face.

 Castiel glares at him in astonishment, “Dean, what the actual fuck are you doing?” This of course only causes Dean’s smirk to grow.

 “Oh Cas, come on down, we can get the party started!” Dean dances around, stumbling and almost falling to the ground.

 Castiel holds his head in his hands and sighs deeply. “Dean what party, there is no party. Just go to sleep please.”

 “Oh honey there’s only one place I want to sleep tonight and it’s in that room right there next to you,” he winks as he points to behind Cas. “Although I guess not a lot of sleeping would be going on.” He runs his tongue across his front teeth remaining full eye contact with his boyfriend at all times. “Shit!” He bellows loudly as he drops the large bottle to the ground, creating yet another puddle of glistening glass on the drive.

 “Anything else you want to break tonight?” Castiel calls down, “now I strongly suggest you go home as you are so intoxicated it’s unbelievable.”

 “Oh no baby I am not going home” Dean shakes his head, “you’re all mine tonight.”

 “I think it’s best you be alone,” Castiel says, he backs his cold body back into the warmth of his room and begins to shut the window. He gets about three quarters of the way down before he hears what at first he thought was some sort of dying animal, but what actually turned out to be Dean singing, or at least attempting to.

 “I’m alone!” He shouts relatively in tune.

 Castiel sighs as loud as a stampede of elephants and throws the already broken window up. “What are you doing now?” He shouts down in confusion and anger.

 “Yeah, I don’t know if I can face the night!” Dean continues at the top of his lungs, spinning around in a circle, “I’m in tears and the cryin’ that I do is for…you!” He points at Castiel and does some air guitar before continuing his performance.

“I want your love – let’s break the walls between us” Dean serenades his lover with delightful out of tune singing.

 “Dean please-“ Cas starts before being interrupted by another round of rhymes.

 “DON’T MAKE IT TOUGH – I’LL PUT AWAY MY PRIDE” He screams.

 “You keep your pride exactly where it is thank you very much,” Castiel mutters to himself.

 “Enough’s enough, I’ve suffered and I’ve seen the light,” Dean screams now, clenching his right fist into a ball and punching the air.

“BABY!” He shouts, this time actually in tune. “You’re my angel…” he continues.

 

Castiel rushes down the stairs – he can still hear Dean’s yelling from down the corridor. He unlocks the door and walks across to Dean, glancing around the street to make sure there’s nobody watching. Dean is down on both knees with his head facing towards the deep night sky. His eyes are closed shut and his hands are clenched into fists, brought up to his chest like he’s in a 90’s pop ballard video.

When Dean sees Castiel he smiles and holds out his hand, beckoning him over to him, “come and save me tonight,” he continues to sing. Castiel just shakes his head slowly, which only makes Dean’s ‘singing’ get louder, until he’s bellowing at what volume Castiel didn’think was even physically possible. “You’re my angel, come on and make it all-”

Before Dean can finish, Castiel grabs his head with both hands and pulls him up into a deep kiss, shutting him up with the much missed presence of his warm tongue, twisting and pulsing around Dean’s liquor-tasting mouth.

When he pulls out, Dean has the face of the lost puppy – confused and staring into the dark void of Castiel’s eyes. “Cas, I-” he begins before Castiel puts a finger on his lips like he’s a small child.

“Come on,” Castiel says, holding out a hand for Dean to take. Dean willingly grabs tight of the soft, warm hand and Cas leads him inside and up the stairs. The two of them strip off rather quickly and Castiel leaves the room to go and get a glass of water for his drunken partner.

 

Dean sits on the creaking bed in the dark, his head between his knees and his arms hanging over the top of his head. He could feel himself sobering up already and he didn’t like the idea of being awake when that happened. He didn’t want to fall asleep without Cas by his side, but just lying down wouldn’t hurt, would it? He lies down on the bed with a small groan, swiftly closing his eyes, focusing on his love rather that the huge headache he’s going to have in the morning. Without even meaning to, Dean quickly falls into a deep slumber, leaving tiny snores whispering through the silence of the night.

 

Castiel returns to his room with a glass of icy water and a few pain killers – he knows Dean will need them after tonight. After calling Dean’s name three times without a response he places the items on the bedside table and flicks on a small lamp. Just what Cas expected – Dean is sprawled out on the bedsheet, his arms dangling over the side as he lies on his front, snoring softly into the cream pillow beneath him. Castiel can’t help but laugh as he, with difficultly, pulls out the quilt from under Dean, climbing into bed and pulling the warm material over the both of them. He lies next to Dean for a few hours, closing his eyes and trying so hard to get back to sleep. He hears a creak as the body next to him turns and smoothly hugs him from behind. Cas can hear Dean’s breathing down the back of his neck – deep, warm breaths of air skimming down his skin. The comfort given to him causes his whole body to relax and only then is the tired Castiel once again acquainted with his old friend sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dean is singing is Angel by Aerosmith :)


	19. Just A Coffee Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, remember me?  
> It's been a very very long time, but in the hope that someone might remember this story, here. Hope you enjoy. :)

“I dreamed about you last night,” Dean states, stirring his coffee with small strokes.  
“I’m surprised you even remember anything about last night you were that drunk,” Cas replied with slight bitterness to his tone.  
“What? I wasn’t that drunk,” Dean says.  
“ARE YOU SURE?!” Cas shouts, forcing Dean to cup his hands and squint his eyes in the pain that is a hangover, flinging his silver spoon into the air.  
Ok, so many Dean was drunk, but he wouldn’t give Cas the satisfaction of being right as he always is. He picks up his dropped spoon and taps Castiel on the head with it, lukewarm coffee dripping down his frowning forehead.  
“Lighten up Cas, the day is still new,” Dean says happier than he seemed a few minutes, standing up and prancing out of the kitchen, his bare feet pressing against the cold tile floor.  
“Where the hell are you going?” Castiel asks, shaking his head, his mop of hair swinging from side to side.  
“Come on we’re going for a walk,” Dean replies. Castiel can do nothing but roll his eyes and grab his coat.

x

“So where exactly are we walking to?” Castiel asks, looking around the country roads with trees in every direction.  
“Well…I didn’t exactly have a set point I just assumed I’d know where we were,”  
Castiel looks at him in utter unbelief, “You mean you don’t know where we are?”  
“Well-” Dean says, rubbing his neck with his sweaty hand, “not…exactly, no.”  
“Not…exactly?” Castiel’s disbelief quickly turns into astonishment as he raises an eyebrow.  
“Not…at all,” Dean says with a small smile and a shrug of the shoulders as if to say Whoops!  
Cas looks around the narrow road they’re trudging down. The sun is slowly going down, creating a dim glow at the top of the greenery, the sheep baaing in the far distance. In this light they look more like little clouds, hopping about and grazing on the dry grass drained by the summer heat.  
“Right, well if we just go back the way we came we’ll be back to where we started, simple logic,” Castiel states matter-of-factly and with little thought and a lot of hope they begin again, marching down the road side by side.  
Dean brushes past Cas’s hand and lightly strokes his palm with his thumb. Castiel looks over at him and gives him a small smile before leaning in for a small peck under the blaring sun.

x

Finally, the two get back onto at least a main road they know, the hot sun now gone and replaced by the timid sky of dusk, the mixture of pinks and oranges painted across the sky like watercolour. Just a mile or so away they see a small diner, the bright light inside buzzing in the distance.  
“Fancy a bite?” Dean asks with a smirk.  
“How about you bite me,” Castiel snarls, rolls his eyes and begins to walk towards the metal tin diner, dragging a laughing Dean behind him with his outstretched arm.

The boys walk into the quiet diner and sit down at a booth. The red leather on the seats is faded and ripped and the black tiles are more of a charcoal grey, covered in mud and dust, but something about the place had character.  
Within no time a short, blonde haired, young girl steps out of the kitchen, notepad in hand. She stands close to the table the boys are sitting at, asking what they want and pops a bubble from the strawberry-scented gum she’s chewing.  
After Dean orders a bowl of chips and Cas has ‘just a coffee please’ the girl disappears back to the kitchen behind the large squeaky red doors of the almost empty diner.

“So,” Dean begins, “What is your favourite colour?”  
“What?” Castiel asks in confusion.  
“You heard me, what’s your favourite colour?” He raises his eyebrows as if to prompt him.  
“Erm,” Cas thinks adjusting his position to more upright and wiggling until he’s comfy on the stiff seats, “I’d say a nice Pacific Blue.”  
Dean looks at him in astonishment. “Pacific…Blue. What colour even is that?” He asks, throwing his body backwards in laughter.  
“Hey, it’s a nice colour ok!” Castiel says, not impressed with Dean’s mockery. The boy’s laughter is interrupted by yet another young bubble-blower handing them their order on a shiny silver tray. The two thank her and get started.  
Dean looks up at Cas and watches him. Castiel catches him out of the corner of his eyes and says, “do you mind looking at me thank you,”  
“Hey, I’m just appreciating, can’t a guy do that much,” He laughs, but there’s a glimmer of something Cas can’t put his finger on in his eye. “I’m so goddamn lucky to have you Castiel Novak.”  
Cas rolls his eyes, “you’re crazy.”  
Dean laughs through his nose and gives a small laugh. His look suddenly turns more serious and he looks Castiel straight in the eyes.  
“You’re perfect, you know that right.”


	20. Don't You Cry No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter *cries*. I hope you've all enjoyed it and thank you so much for all the support.

_2 years later_

“Fine, like I care anyway!” Castiel screams as he slams the door in Dean’s shocked face before storming down the hall of their apartment and out the front door. He climbs into the elevator and angrily presses down the buttons, eager to get out of this toxic place.

_How did it get to this?_ Cas asks himself.  It seems like forever since they were the loved up young couple exchanging kisses in the back of Dean’s car and sneaking around on lunch breaks at work to go make out in the alley - Now it seems like all hope of being happy together had gone. _NO!_ Castiel shakes the thoughts out of his head – they hadn’t come this far just to throw it away because of some stupid argument about whose family to spend thanksgiving with.

The _ding_ of the elevator and the creaking of the metal doors opening wakes Cas up from his wandering thoughts and he waits for a minute before exhaling and walking out. A little part of him hoped that Dean would be at the bottom waiting for him and they could kiss and make up. He didn’t know why, it never happened. _Well, no harm in hoping_ , he thinks, shrugging his shoulders and sulking over to the door with the buzzing, green EXIT sign above it. As he opens the door a huge gust of wind hits him. Cas closes his eyes and opens his arms out, the wind blowing into his coat and hugging his shaking figure. Even though it was ice cold, Castiel felt some comfort and tranquillity in just standing there. God knows how long he stood there, arms spread and eyes closed in the doorway, his hair blowing up and revealing his stressed face. It wasn’t until a small brown leaf blew into his face that he opened his eyes, finally realising how odd he looked and praying that no one had walked by.

Cas walks out into the brightly lit street, the people moving by almost as fast as the cars on the road behind them. The sun was high in the sky and Castiel looks up at it, shading his eyes with his hand. With a deep sigh he steps out onto the pavement – he’s just another face in the endless sea of people now. _Just a little walk_ Cas thinks, _just enough for him to cool off_.

 

x

 

It’s dark now and Castiel is still walking, the same emotionless, blank expression on his face. He has no idea how long he’s been walking for, or where he even is, he’s just been stomping around town like a living, breathing zombie.

He looks at his phone that he had forgotten was in his pocket. No texts, no missed calls, nothing. He checks the time – 9.34pm. _Wow_ , he thinks out loud. He opens up the map on his phone and types in the address of his and Dean’s apartment. He was so far out of town he didn’t even recognise the name of the street he was on, but he followed the directions of the monotone lady in his phone all the way back to the now empty street where he lived.

“Thank god for google maps,” Castiel mumbles and he walks to the door and buzzes the door bell with his and Dean’s names next to it. After 3 buzzes and no reply, Castiel searches his pockets for a door key – no luck. His last hope is to buzz for his neighbour, Claire.

Within seconds Claire answers with a swift, “Who is it?”

“Hey Claire, I left my keys inside, could you buzz me in?” Castiel asks, he hopes the pain in his voice gives him a sure chance of her letting him in.

“Erm, sure,” Claire says followed by a loud buzz.

Castiel opens the heavy door and makes his way up the elevator to his apartment. The number 6 on the door had been knocked and was now crooked, probably from someone slamming it in one of the many arguments him and Dean had - but he’d never noticed it before.

Cas is relieved to find out the door is open and he staggers into the empty apartment and feels around for the light switch. The room fills with low, yellow light from the budget bulb they had in and he walks into the bedroom, flinging himself onto the made double bed.

 

x

 

Cas sat there for at least half an hour trying to figure out what was different about this place – something just felt…off. Then it hit him – Where was the music box Castiel had got Dean that sat on the bedroom table? Where was Dean’s leather jacket that was flung across the armchair? Where was…anything of Dean’s? Castiel had come home to a half empty apartment. 

In horror Cas slings himself upright, his eyes opening wide and darting back and forth between the walls of the room. He gets up, rummaging through draws and wardrobes with shaking hands, tears filling in his eyes and rolling steadily down his cheeks. “No, no, no,” Castiel whimpers, this could _not_ be happening.

Once he had finished running around the apartment like a mad man he sits on the couch in the almost void-like living room. He brings his hands to his face and sobs violently, the noise of his crying breaking through the silence of night as he brings his knees up to his chest and hugs them. How could this happen? How could he just up and leave with no explanation? 

_He’ll come back_ Castiel thinks, _he has to come back_. These thoughts whirled around his head all night, but the more he thought, the more he knew that Dean wasn’t coming back.

 

x

 

Months have past since that night, but it felt like years, even decades. Castiel can’t remember the last time he smiled or even came close to it. Nothing had particularly changed, the world kept spinning without Dean, it was just one more hit in an endless game of regret and sadness and no matter how many _everything happens for a reason_ quotes we recited to him, life seemed like an endless road of self-pity.

Cas was still working in the coffee shop - pouring hot fluids into clear glasses wasn’t exactly what he had hoped to do with his life, but it was the best he could do for now. He’d lost count of how many awkward first dates and study sessions he had seen – same situation, different faces.  

Castiel was sorting out some glitch on the till when he heard a male cough.

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” he mumbles quietly.

“What can I get-” Cas says looking up from the till when he suddenly loses track of his sentence. He glares at what’s in front of him, the smell of dark leather and whiskey overpowering the coffee all around.

“D...Dean?” He says with little more than a whimper.

“Hi,” Dean replies. Castiel never understood how Dean could be so stone-faced, acting like nothing happened and as if he’d seen him just yesterday. “Can I get a medium coffee with extra cream,” Dean states. It’s almost like he doesn’t even remember who Cas is, but the avoidance of eye contact is saying otherwise.

“Sure,” Castiel whispers and finally looks away from Dean. He takes the change Dean drops on the counter and silently begins to boil the industrial coffee machine as Dean walks away. Dean’s husky voice breaks the silence between them and Cas looks up to see Dean turned towards him.

“Actually,” Dean says with a small smile and a glimmer of hope as he stares directly into Castiel’s ice blue eyes, “make mine a cappuccino.”

**Author's Note:**

> For updates and stuff: the-blood-of-angry-men.tumblr.com  
> (also feel free to message me anything on there because I need excitement in my life)


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